Ten Verses Never Preached On
Written Dec 5th, 2006 by Josh Rives | Email This
10. 2 Kings 2:23-24 NKJV
Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.
Comments: George Costanza envokes the wrath of God.
9. Mark 14:51-52 NASB
A young man was following Him, wearing nothing but a linen sheet over his naked body; and they seized him. But he pulled free of the linen sheet and escaped naked.
Comments: Possibly the first streaker in history.
8. Deuteronomy 23:1 ESV
No one whose testicles are crushed or whose male organ is cut off shall enter the assembly of the Lord.
Comments: We can’t just be letting anyone in. We have to draw the line somewhere.
7. Genesis 38:8-10 NASB
Then Judah said to Onan, “Go in to your brother’s wife, and perform your duty as a brother-in-law to her, and raise up offspring for your brother.” Onan knew that the offspring would not be his; so when he went in to his brother’s wife, he wasted his seed on the ground in order not to give offspring to his brother. But what he did was displeasing in the sight of the LORD; so He took his life also.
Comments: Not only do you have to carry the body out, but you have to mop the floor too.
6. 1 Samuel 18:25-27 ESV
Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife.
Comments: How do you present a gift like that? Do you tie a bow on the box?
5. Exodus 4:24-25 NASB
Now it came about at the lodging place on the way that the LORD met him and sought to put him to death. Then Zipporah took a flint and cut off her son’s foreskin and threw it at Moses’ feet, and she said, “You are indeed a bridegroom of blood to me.”
Comments: I imagine the son was screaming in pain and Moses just kinda stared at it in disgust.
4. Ezekiel 16:17 NIV
You also took the fine jewelry I gave you, the jewelry made of my gold and silver, and you made for yourself male idols and engaged in prostitution with them.
Comments: What did she do with her gold and silver idols?
3. Ezekiel 23:19-20 NET
Yet she increased her prostitution, remembering the days of her youth when she engaged in prostitution in the land of Egypt. She lusted after their genitals as large as those of donkeys, and their seminal emission was as strong as that of stallions.
Comments: Can’t wait to hear this taught from a pulpit.
2. Judges 3:19-25 ESV
And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out.
Comments: Apparently the sword pierced all the way through and something unexpected came out the other side. The author felt this was a necessary detail to include.
1. Deuteronomy 25:11-12 NASB
If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and seizes his genitals, then you shall cut off her hand; you shall not show pity.
Comments: My question is why would she do this and were there any repeat offenders?
[...] 10 Bible verses never preached on. [...]
Rite what the Bible is is random words added to each other constently to make something that dull and boring that 70% of the world give in and believe because its easier than actually reading the bible itself. Ive also noticed that there is a random number added at the end of like evry fifth sentece what the hell is rong with the world its a load of crap!
have you ever tried reading the bible? try reading the new testiment, and there are many things that are not boring. if you have ever read psalms or proverbs you will know that they both talk about everyday things and how to overcome them, i know this personaly because if i have a problem i pary to God and ask him to answer me or comfort me through his word and then i just start reading through a random chapter and i always find a verse that applys to what im going through, you should try it but in order for it to work you would really need to trust that God will help you and answer your questions.
i will pray for you:)
Dont waste your time praying for me. Open your brain and let the truth come in and and please don’t try to teach your phony crap to others who are to stupid to know any better. All the Christians in the United States were praying for one thing and it did not happen. Your excuse. God did not want it to happen. Does
God control the weather or not? If he does, why does he continue to kill all the children and babies. I don’t even wan’t to hear your stupid excuse for this one. If this is your God then I pray I go to hell because I want no part lof anyone like him.
First of all, Ditto on the “learn to spell” comment from Jonna. Jeez, how in the world did you ever get past the fifth grade? Is it just your ignorant way of writing or are you confused? You start your comment with “Dont waste your time praying for me” then end the comment (with reference to God as your sentence subject matter I might add) that “I pray I go to hell because I want no part lof anyone like him.” So Carl, who exactly are you praying to? That must be an awful feeling having to pray to someone that you obviously have no belief in – like a defenseless child being led to the slaughter by a parent they should be able to depend on and trust in. Is there really anyone out there that could be that evil? When not writing nasty comments what do you do? Do you spend your day pissing on flowers?
WELL SAID!!! THANK YOU FOR TELLING HIM LIKE IT IS!! I HAVE HEARD IT SAID THAT IF YOU DONT STAND FOR SOMETHING, YOU WILL FALL FOR ANYTHING!!
Yer. That’s Godsquad’s logo. If u dont know who they are, they go around Queensland and WA (in Australia) talking to schools about problems in life. They came to my school a couple months ago.
Okay, i’m 16 years old and I have accepted jesus to be my lord and savior. To the person talking about why jesus lets children and babies die, and why he doesn’t intervene to save them. 1st, maybe he believes they should come to heaven early because it’ll be better for them, seeing how heaven is the best place you could ever be. 2nd, The world has been telling God to get out of our schools, out of our daily practices, telling God to get out of the media. Hating people for loving God. We have pushed God out of our lives soo much, that maybe he just doesn’t see what he can do anymore with all the disbelief, so he stays quite in the hope that we see the light. I forget where but in the new testament it talks about the path God pre-sets out that we all end up following, if that path has us die early in our lives then so be it, God obviously see’s we’ll be better off that way.
I suppose now i’m just rambling on, but I just want you to see that the bible has every answer you need, God knew you would need the answer so just go look for the answers you seek by yourself. 2nd Timothy 2:23 or something, it says that we shouldn’t have foolish arguments that end of with people just getting mad, but if its to try and convert someone or you believe someone is teaching the wrong way, then you have a duty to step in and make it right. So have fun with your life and i hope you convert to the right path, I’ll pray for you.
-Mini
now i want everyone to understand that i was raised a Pastors Kid. My father is now a Seminary professor of Old Testament… I am biased. However I have recently struggled with my faith.. why I beleive what i do. someone asked why God kills children and babies. My answer: why do we? if you will blame God for murder (which it isnt. God commits no sin. He ALLOWS it) look at abortion and euthanasia. where is your excuse?
To Mini’s comment “We have pushed God out of our lives soo much, that maybe he just doesn’t see what he can do anymore with all the disbelief, so he stays quite in the hope that we see the light.” Do you honestly God sits in heaven and thinks, “O crap… I cant make people believe in me any more… I dont know what to do!!!!” God knew that this would happen since eternity before. He is all knowing. We can do NOTHING to foil his plans. You may argue different. but i believe i am right and biblically based.
however all this aside for the end…
There is only one thing that matters that many christians have forgotten. The ONLY thing required for salvation is belief that Jesus died for your sins… Theology doesnt matter beyond that…
this is all based on what i believe personally not because someone told me it was true. I have had my faith tested and it has become much more solid…
So i pray for all of you that you would see the truth… the ONLY Truth.
The Bible’s god is not kind and benevolent by our standards.
He is powerless, indifferent or malevolent — not omnipotent and caring.
In fact, there is no reason to believe such a god exists at all.
Your “truth” is belief. There’s a big difference. Believing something doesn’t make it true.
Try to see how hard it is even for Christians to believe and explain their own religion… how the OT god doesn’t fit with the NT god.
I used to be a born again, Evangelical Christian for many, many years but have rejected that now. I still believe in love, which was Jesus’ main command, but not the fluff. It’s nice. I don’t need to wrack my brain trying to explain what makes no sense anymore. For example:
Psalms 137.9: “Happy shall they be who seize your infants and dashes them against the rocks!”
Just think… There are other options. Don’t just accept whatever you’ve been told. If you need a good, kind, loving god, don’t look in the Bible… particularly not the OT.
Judaism, Islam and Christianity is a pit of vipers… Free your heart and mind of delusion.
Pine,
I just cannot pull any punches here. You write from a position of deceit, and your lies betray you. You claim to have come to some sort of revelation based on your experience as a Christian, but that is utter nonsense. You simply recycle the same old arguments of hostile unbelievers.
The God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob is the sovereign God of justice and righteousness. Men are incapable of understanding His reason and motives:
8 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts,
Nor are your ways My ways,” says the LORD.
9 “For as the heavens are higher than the earth,
So are My ways higher than your ways,
And My thoughts than your thoughts.
(Isaiah 55:8-9)
It is a mark of your (sinful) pride that you judge God by your own worldly standards.
And in challenging the truth of God’s word, you reveal your own nature:
20 For since the creation of the world His invisible attributes are clearly seen, being understood by the things that are made, even His eternal power and Godhead, so that they are without excuse, 21 because, although they knew God, they did not glorify Him as God, nor were thankful, but became futile in their thoughts, and their foolish hearts were darkened. 22 Professing to be wise, they became fools, 23 and changed the glory of the incorruptible God into an image made like corruptible man—and birds and four-footed animals and creeping things.
(Romans 1:20-23)
You have problems with Ps 137:9? Perhaps if you had only read the previous verse, the context would be a bit clearer for you. With some diligence and perseverance you might not have had to turn your back on your faith. But wait, you didn’t have any to turn your back on. Context is an enemy of those who would pervert the scriptures for their own use.
That’s right. Your “many years” as a born again Christian are a sham. I’m truly sorry if you once saw yourself as a Christian, and perhaps it was even painful to realize that you weren’t really. But in fact there is no such thing as someone who “used to be a born again” — by definition, that description doesn’t even make sense. In actuality (if there is any truth to the “many years” spent going to church) you deceived yourself until it became apparent that self deceit was not sustainable. Then you blamed God as being at fault. I don’t know why or how this happened, but I do wonder why it took “many years” for you to come to your senses. Anyway, I think you have never been any different than you are now.
Yes, you’re correct that there are alternatives. You can join the self-styled global love-in where “love” is simply a euphemism for whatever makes you feel good and doesn’t make anyone else feel bad. You can join the universal church of relativistic morality and reject all notions of right and wrong. You can chant the tolerance mantra “all beliefs and lifestyles are equally valid, and all are equally good.” As you correctly pointed out, all of this frees you from “wracking your brain” to grapple with any problems of good and evil. Then, just to make sure you are thoroughly post-modern, you can join in the mockery of Christians and “thumpers” as mindless sheep, ignorantly believing in anachronistic mythology. (And what irony there is in that.) Yes, there are alternatives, and it seems you have chosen most of them.
I appeal to the reader to consider all of this when deciding if “Pine” has any credibility or if there is any value to his/her advice.
Your delusions are impressive, sir! Well done.
To PCS:
I side with Pine. And I believe that the God we are supposed to believe in as Christians is not the God that is being taught to us from the Bible, etc.
And I actually find it funny that you choose to defend the Bible by spouting forth verses from the Bible itself. That’s like trying to defend Microsoft by reading from the press releases that are written by Microsoft PR agents. Ha ha ha..
You speak of deceit and lies? How could you judge a person and tell him that he’s speaking LIES just because he says something that doesn’t fit in with your own beliefs? How can YOU be so sure that your own beliefs are not the incorrect ones?
God gave us brains, and we are supposed to use them. We should not blindly follow the teachings of ancient popes because it will lead us to more deception and lies than you would ever realize.
Pine: “The Bible’s god is not kind and benevolent by our standards.”
Well, we are all very glad that you decided to weigh in on this matter and decide who gets to be god. We were really getting worried about it.
[Turning around and yelling at the crowd behind me] OK Guys, look, we’ve been going about this all wrong. It turns out that Mr. Pine, over here, is gonna be our judge. And to think all this time we were thinking we was gonna answer to that angry dude in the Bible. Whew! That’s a relief.
Thanks Pine for setting the record straight. We all answer to you and your croonies over at the New Scientific Council on Progressive Enlightenment. We know you won’t be absolutely corrupted by your absolute power, right. RIGHT? Hey, Pine. RIGHT? I’ll take that as a yes – and keep my gun loaded.
TO PCS:
I agree with Pine (and Mawe). I often wonder how people can think the Bible is literally the “word of God” when the preface — in my King James version — so clearly states that “The Bible is a religious library, the selected literature of a people”. Literature.
Like all good literature, it is full of symbolism and moral lessons. It is also full of drama and evil. It has survived so long because it contains some basic truths. It has also been edited and revised over 2000 years, and the the influence of the Church can be seen in all it’s exhortations to join the Church and believe or spend eternity in hell. That’s just the necessary “marketing message” that was added along the way.
Of course, to believe without questioning is an easy option. The world does get messy and confusing if you have to question and find the best moral answer in complex situations. But the reality is, even the Bible doesn’t hold all the answers.
Chief Luther Standing Bear said it best: “For after all the great religions have been preached and expounded, or have been revealed by brilliant scholars or have been written in fine books and embellished in fine language with finer covers, man — all man— is still confronted with the Great Mystery.”
Rubbish, and the new testament is just as stupid as the old
@justin smith
THE INTERNET IS NOT A TELEGRAM. FULL STOP. PLEASE DO NOT USE YOUR COMPUTER WITHOUT PROPER ADULT SUPERVISION. FULL STOP. WE WOULDN’T WANT YOU TO HURT YOURSELF. FULL STOP.
PS – PLEASE TURN OFF YOUR EFFING CAPS LOCK. FULL STOP.
END TRANSMISSION.
When you ask god to fix your problems… does he?
..I hope you pray for some spelling lessons.
You really do need them.
@jesus freak
No offense, but have you ever tried finishing 3rd grade? I took the liberty of correcting your spelling/grammar errors for you. Hope this helps.
have you ever tried reading the bible? try reading the new testiment {{“testament”}}, {{run on sentence/comma splice}} and there are many things that are not boring. if you have ever read psalms or proverbs you will know that they both talk about everyday things and how to overcome them, {{run on sentence/comma splice}} i know this personaly {{“personally”}} because if i have a problem i pary {{“pray”}} to God and ask him to answer me or comfort me through his word and then i just start reading through a random chapter and i always find a verse that applys {{“applies”}} to what im {“i’m”} going through, {{run on sentence/comma splice}} you should try it but in order for it to work you would really need to trust that God will help you and answer your questions.
i will pray for you:)
It’s hard to understand how someone can be so smart and still believe in Fairy Tales. You are wasting your life on fiction. You need to master your common sense as well as you have mastered your english. All you know how to do is to make fun of others. Is that Gods way?? Pray for yourself to the idiot who lived in the dark for 10 million years. Not very smart is he?
Carl Weast is not ignorant due to the fact that he does not ” IGNORE ” truth which is the root of IGNORANCE to ignore FACTS! YOU BIBLE THUMPING HOLY ROLLING SELF RIGHETOUS HYPOCRITES! Yes, I agree he made mistakes in the spelling. WHO DOESN’T? But he knows a lie when he hears it, so who is the stupid one, you read the lies yet still are blind so WHO IS THE FOOL! Tell me this, it states in the bible that the sun stood still in the book of Jasher. Now how can you prove this if the book of Jasher is not in the bible? So therefore, YOU B.T.H.R.S.R. HYPOCRITES ARE THIEVES TOO!!!! And Revelation says not to take anything out of the book, keep ignoring!!!
Dude, learn how to spell before you make these public statements. This is embarrasing to me! Who cares what the subject is, just learn how to spell.
whats the matter Jonna, are you afraid that Jesus freak’s mother isn’t doing her job well enough or something?
… as long as you understand what they are trying to say, what difference does it make how to spell it. phonetics work both ways.
By the way… you did not use the word “dude” correctly, according to mirriam webster dictionary.
In fact, YOU qualify more as a “dude” than the person you called a dude.
sew ewe khan keiss mai (unt heis) ass.
.. ive never seen anything more judgemental.
judge not, lest ye be judged yourselves.
signed,
Mirriam
In accusing someone else of being judgmental, are we not, ourselves, being judgmental?
“Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Depends… if make the claim because we felt judged upon, then no. Namely, then we comment on our experience, hence are not judgmental. It’s the difference between a thin person and a fat person saying being fat stinks.
Judgment is a good thing. Something most Christians don’t actually do.
They waste their time enlarging their own egos at the expense of those they criticize for no rational reason. Imagine a world where love and forgiveness ACTUALLY took precedence over justice… Scary.
“I Am For Whatever It Takes To Help You Make It through The Night.
For some People,It’s Prayer.For Others,It’s Tranquilizers.For Some,It’s A Bottle
of Jack Daniels.
I Beleive That God and Man Should Go It Alone Without The Witch Doctor in The Middle.”-Francis Albert Sinatra.”Old Blue Eyes”.1916-98.
“When I Was A Child;They taught Us In Sunday School that People Who Drank Beer;Smoked Cigarettes and Played Dominoes Would Not Enter Into The Kingdom of Heaven.
If That’s True,I’ve Been Bound For Hell Since I Was Eight Years Old.”-Willie Hugh Nelson.”The Red Headed Stranger”.1933-present.
“You’ll Go To Heaven!!”.
“You’ll Get Candy!!”-Hank Hill and Junie Harper.”Hilloween”.TV’s”King of the Hill”,Oct.1997.
ok.. first of all the word “dude” means someone who is overdressed for an activity or doesnt know the “way” of the part of the world they are in (ie dude ranch)
second.. who cares how they spell as long as you understand what they meant, right?
second.. you said “these statements”… i can only find one statement (1) in this listing.
third.
ewe unt yer dikshun khan kyst mai ass.
judge not lest ye be judged (paraphrased for your convenience.
by the way.
antidisestablishmentarianism
anticonstitutionalism
anticoagulatorialis
eet mhore vegetaibels
Was it really necessary to do all that research, Hypo? pathetic.
Spelling is often important in intelligent conversations. If spelling and grammatical correctness is not displayed, oftentimes the reader will dismiss the content on the assumption that someone who does not know the difference between “to” and “too” is highly unlikely to be able to argue intelligently or even be taken seriously.
Anyone who believes in the hero living in the sky is the ignorant one.
I am always amazed when someone points out spelling errors, when the other half of America can’t do math, but no one ever points that out….they say only a mistake was made..is that strange to anybody else?
Slope or m= delta Y over delta X
What does b equal if the Y intercept is 5 and the X intercept is -8 ?
(Use the Slope Intercept formula)
And that’s only 8th Grade Math.
You are really concerned about spelling. Oh, how smart you are.
THE PROBLEM IS YOU HAVE NOT BEEN “BORNE AGAIN” If you do not understand it is because no Spirit of God in you.
“But the natural man receiveth not the things of the Spirit of God: for they are foolishness unto him: neither can he know them, because they are spiritually discerned” 1 Corinthians 2:14
Cheers Ehud
Whoa man, do you honestly believe what you just said. I mean seriously, i have to be ‘reborn’ what the hell does that mean. God F***ed it up the first time so he has to try again. You think being almighty would allow him to fix that.
If God is almighty, can he microwave a burrito so hot that he can’t eat it.
I love that saying. It logically disproves the “almighty claim”.
What did God mess up? God is almighty and perfect. He made us in his own image. He even said himself, “It is good.” when he created us. He set us apart from his angels when he gave us free will. If not for free will we would be robots and not be able to choose anything ourselves. What kind of god would control us like that?
Free will lets us choose between God and hell. When you choose God, then you are “born again,” symbolizing being accepted into His family, making a commitment to try your best to turn from sinful ways, and receiving a get out of hell free ticket. All you have to do is ask. God is constantly knocking at your door, waiting to fix your life and anyone else’s who will just let Him in.
btw, if God is almighty, he wouldn’t be seeing how hot he can microwave a burrito.
God bless
you right he said “it is good”. if god is so almighty and perfect shouldnt he have said “it is perfect” or at least “it is great”.
In the Hebrew, the writing wouldn’t have included “perfect” or “great.” The story of creation was written during the time of the Jewish exile in Babylonia. It was more of an uplifting story (along with Noah and the Tower of Babel) to let the Jews know that YaHWeH had created them, and no matter how bad things got, he would not abandon them.
People (especially most Christians) don’t know where their Bible came from. The Bible wasn’t written to be taken literally (see: Young Earth Creationists), but instead studied alongside the history of the time. The Old Testament is a history book. Look up when each was written, whom it was written to, and the circumstances surrounding the people of Israel at the time.
The New Testament is the only section of the bible meant to be taken “literally,” in that a majority of the books are simply letters written to various new churches (outside of the four Gospels and Acts).
The only way anyone can find out about what Christianity is really about is if as Christians, we stop this bickering and saying “We’re right, you are wrong.” Instead, share your beliefs. I urge those who attack Christianity to inquire about it first instead of making judgments and saying “Its a load of crap because every word isn’t perfectly scientifically backed up.”
Gandhi once said, “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians, because they are nothing like your Christ.” Lets live like our Christ.
One thing the Old Testament most certainly is NOT is history. Despite the preponderance of actual place names and tribal references, the events narrated are largely (and demonstrably) fictional. Even leaving aside all the “miraculous” accounts, the mundane reportage — such as that of the Hebrews being slaves in Egypt and engaging in a decades-long exodus through the desert — is entirely unsupported by ANY contemporary historical accounts or archaeological evidence. It simply didn’t happen.
This is based off of research my father has done in his field..
Travis made this comment: “People (especially most Christians) don’t know where their Bible came from. The Bible wasn’t written to be taken literally (see: Young Earth Creationists), but instead studied alongside the history of the time. The Old Testament is a history book. Look up when each was written, whom it was written to, and the circumstances surrounding the people of Israel at the time.” i want to make something very clear. The Bible is literal. all of it…. in original Hebrew it is literal… it is meant to be taken literally. and the story of creation was written by Moses under direct revelation from God. those are Gods words written by Moses on Sinai. it was already in existence during the babylonian captivity. and to Samwun…. what evidence do u have that archeology hasnt uncovered history… Hezekiahs water tunnels (recorded in II Chronicles) are still around in jerusalem…and please admit that contemporary accounts are very biased against christians.
Historians don’t even debate anymore on whether or not the OT is historically accurate — because it is. It is backed up by Egyptian, Babylonian, Muslim, and even ancient Chinese text, not to mention archaelogical proof. Sure, the OT authors may have construed certain events to make it appear as if G-d had performed a miracle, but the basic content and structure of the stories are accurate.
To Germ-X…
You said that “Sure, the OT authors may have construed certain events to make it appear as if G-d had performed a miracle, but the basic content and structure of the stories are accurate.”
So if the OT authors had construed certain events TO MAKE IT APPEAR AS IF GOD HAD PERFORMED A MIRACLE, then the OT would lose all credibility as a history book and gain the reputation as a work of fiction — which it undoubtedly is.
Why did the OT authors have to make it appear as if a miracle had happened in the first place? Because they were creating propaganda in the guise of a holy book.
It is interesting that a guy who cannot write correct english grammmar has so much to say about the Bible!
People are not perfect. English grammar isn’t graceful for everyone. As long as the communication exists, it is all that matters here. It is absolutely imperative that you stick to discussion and try not to take away credibility of someone based on their grammar, dialect, etc.
And to go in further about discussing the Bible. God’s imperfect people are not perfect, but gives grace in different areas according to our natural ability’s that he has given everyone. I believe that everyone in this blog will come around, Christian or non, to Christ and ask for his forgiveness. He SAVES!!!
I have faith, no doubt at all, that all of you will be SAVED according to his plan and not my own. The Naysayers will never win. All of you will be in my prayers, Amen
-Todd Thielen
If you cannot accept God’s Kingdom through the simplicity of a child, you will never get in…
I’ll be keeping an eye on you, young Thielen. I like how you think.
Your buddy,
Lucifer
that little number is the verse number so you can easily jump to passages
well this explains it f8ith.com
I just wanted to reply to
“Ive also noticed that there is a random number added at the end of like evry fifth sentece what the hell is rong with the world”
it’s the verse number. So that you can tell others where to turn in their bibles so they can follow along.
Cheerio.
Jesus Loves You
ALL RIGHT! ENOUGH IS ENOUGH! The fruit of the spirit is love joy peace patience kindness goodness faithfullness and self control. These Christians writing here, guys I urge you, please check these things in your life. do you know that the bible speaks about even using crude (not down right evil and filthy) words? get controll of yourselves. And to those who are not Christians. Guys I am so sorry for how these others have been treating you, no wonder you are not convinced! We can not expect you to act and talk like christians because you are not. Please except my apol. on their behalf… in the same breath i would like to say that Jesus Christ (not the one in the paintings and books, the one from the bible and from my heart) is worth putting your faith in, if you decide to put it in anything, and i pray that you will… wait… i’ve prayed that you will! Cheers
the jesus christ in the bible is a jesus christ in a book. in a bunch of them. that’s all the bible is, a book. it’s your interpretation (which i am not saying is wrong and probably half agree with) that is important.
“All Bibles are man made.”
-Thomas A. Edison
Hear, hear!!!
uh although they are man made they are the direct words that god put into people… its like the light bulb… Although Thomas Edison invented the light bulb we still create them… it doesn’t mean we make them wrong.
holy fuck the bible SUCKS! You have to be a psycho to listen to believe it!
I would dispute your name, JImbo the Heretic. Heretic implies you have some belief, that is simply not the orthodox belief. Your comments indicate you have no belief, let alone unorthodox belief. Therefore, you are not heretic, simply unbeliever.
Every religious person is so because of 3 things. Hope, fear and guilt. If you have an ounce of common sense you have to see through the fact that the prospect of “God says this is how you should live and if you don’t listen then you will spend ALL ETERNITY IN SUFFERING and if you do you get ALL ETERNITY IN A PERFECT PARADISE” was invented to manipulate the fellow man. Also, to live by the Bible, you would cut off a woman’s hand without pity if she grabs your nuts to defend her husband. You would have to do so, cause any guy with crushed nuts is not allowed into the assembly of the Lord. Religion rules the world by hope, fear and guilt and if you are stupid enough it rules completely over you. Christianity claims to give you free choice. If you go against the will of God though you go to hell, how is that free choice, it is like me saying “you have the choice to eat all these sandwiches, but if you eat that one over there i will shoot you in the kneecap, but you can if you want”
Maker of this you are great, i have written down all the passages and plan on showing them to my religious friends and religion teachers and the like.
As a historian, I came to my faith because as I read things, I found it impossible not to believe God created this world. There is far more evidence for Christ than there is for many early texts by famous Greek authors, yet many will try to deny Christ existed. I read John 14:6, and realized that Jesus was either exactly who he said he was, or he was a lunatic. He could not make that statement and be valid as a prophet or good teacher. I have read Josephus and Philo, and other 1st and 2nd century writers, and so, here I make my stand. As Constantine did at the Council of Nicea, I fully accept the Nicene Creed as my statement of faith. I know there have been many wrongs committed in the name of God, every religion is guilty of this. These crimes were committed by humans, and as one verse in the Bible states – “All have sinned and fall short of the Glory of God.” Even the Pope is only human, and even some popes in the past have grievously erred. I am not any better than any other, I will err again in the future, but I am sure in my knowledge the Christ is my King.
here is something for you to think about… if there was never a god then where did the idea come from? how can you just make something like that up? its like saying… that drink is really good. how would you know unless you either directly tried it or other people who did try it told you?
same with god the only way the idea of something greater out there existing could have been thought of is by someone experiencing it first hand. thats what the bible gives us.
My pastor actually preached on number 9.
I can post the link if you would be interested in watching the sermon online…
If you are intrigued
Then listen to me
I know the answer
To everything.
How about Malachi 2:3?
“Behold, I will corrupt your seed, and spread dung upon your faces…” (KJV)
Yes, that’s the LORD talking. Watch out.
Michael, that’s a great one. I didn’t know about that. The best part is that its not only on your face, but on your kids’ faces too. Wow.
That’s great — #3 is definitely my favourite.
Top Ten Most BIZARRE and Funny Verses in the Bible…
[link] [more]…
How could you forget about:
“They asked, “What is the indemnity that we should pay to Him?” They answered, “Five golden hemorrhoids and five golden mice, corresponding to the number of lords of the Philistines; for the same plague struck all of you and your lords. You shall make figures of your hemorrhoids and of the mice that are ravaging your land; thus you shall honor the God of Israel, and perhaps He will lighten the weight of His hand upon you and your gods and your land.” [I Samuel 6:4-5]
thank you for this.
I am a Pastor and have been for over 20 years and I must say I loved the list. There are wierd and strange stories in the Bible and sadly most Christians have never heard of these stories.
The Bible can be very graphic at times. While I enjoyed the list i was sad by many of the responses. Christians getting very preachy and Athiests very angry and fixated on the Bible.
I have never tried to bully someone into believing what i do and I have the deepest respect for the religions of the world. I do share my faith but the person is free to listen or not, free to accept or not and I will listen to them share their faith.
As i read the comments my observation was that many of the Athiests and Christians were acting in simular ways. As a follower of Jesus I will share the love of God and try to live it out. I will leave judging to God who is much better qualified than I.
I wish you all blessings and thank you for the list
You know, I think if more pastors were like that christianity wouldn’t get all the bad press that it does
blessed be
It’s too bad you don’t know that most ministers, pastors ARE like that. Forget the press; and go to a church – any chuch – each week for several weeks and you will learn this. Christianity does get “bad press” from several Tel-evangelists who seem to be in the “business” so they can take advantage of sincere believers and become millionaires.
Actually, you can’t blame Christians for getting “preachy” sometimes. I believe it is difficult not to when every time a non-believer speaks out, it is in anger and hate! Why are they so angry and hateful? Believers aren’t trying to trick anybody, or lie about anything. We believe because we have experienced and continue to experience God’s love, His blessings and how they have changed our lives. We can tell you that you have to start with faith! If you don’t want to believe, fine; but don’t hate us because we reap the benefits of faith.
See my comment to Carl Weast.
Would you please tell this to all people persecuted, expelled and what ever “believers” do to non believers since a long time ago? Since when it was “fine” not to believe? Check the history a bit and check what Pope was saying lately. It was never fine not to believe.
furthermore, the church has always oppressed people: looking at something as simple as gothic architecture can tell you that. it’s a vicious circle, true, but the poor little atheists who are going to hell and don’t agree with you are not necessarily the ones who started the whole thing. just as you can’t blame christians for getting “preachy” you can’t blame non-believers fore getting defensive when there are christians who parade around discounting them for nothing more than a different perspective.
Since the 4th century Christians have done more to persecute the world than any religion. The Bible is a book that breeds mental illness. The god of the Bible is borderline–re: Fatal Attraction… “Love me or I’ll torture you forever in Hell.” “I’ll kill my son for you. Will you love me now?” S-C-A-R-Y…
It is a well known favorite past time to blame Christians for persecutions in the name of God, but in point of fact there is only one Christian response to those who reject the gospel:
And whoever will not receive you nor hear your words, when you depart from that house or city, shake off the dust from your feet. (Matthew 10:14)
If you got any other response than that, you weren’t dealing with a Christian. It’s that simple.
What’s surprising to me is that so many powerful people down through the ages were convinced that being a Christian was such a good thing that they would identify themselves such. And then they would proceed to commit horrible atrocities in the name of a God that they didn’t actually follow. This is probably why the common man wasn’t allowed to see the Word of God… it would have exposed all those false Christians.
On the flipside, what’s never surprising to me is that so many leap to the history of “Christian atrocities” as their reason for rejecting Christianity. Perhaps what they fail to consider is that they effectively dishonor the Christian martyrs who continue to die for the faith right up to the present day.
Many unbelievers even go so far as to say that those who accept the Bible as the inerrant Word of the Sovereign God know nothing of love, and proceed to quote Jesus (usually out of context) as their ideal of moral behavior. This is the ultimate irony, because the hallmark of a true Christian is a love that is unparalleled in the unbelieving world.
I ask the reader to consider these things when trying to discern the truth among the many hostile sentiments heard/read in discussions about Christianity.
Hear hear, Pastor “scarlet”.
Interesting choice for alias, by the way
John
I am a former minister. I’m 71 years old and ministered for 40 years. I am ashamed for what I did those 40 years. I brought many people over the bridge to Christ and they are still practicing Christianity. I only wish I had a way to convince them that I was wrong and sorry for ruining their life. A person has to study the bible for a long time to realize that it is a fairy tale. Jesus taught us that all prayers would be answered. He did not say God would think about them and decide what’s best, he said ask for anything and god will deliver. Ask that a mountain be moved to the ocean and god will do it if you pray for it to happen. I have a list of 145 contridictions in the bible and I got tired of trying to explain them. If just one of them is wrong that’s too many mistakes. Wise up, if god did the things it says he did in the bible then he can not be a caring god and you know it but wont preach it as I did not. I have never heard of a person on earth as vicious as god was. He should pay us a visit if he really cared. One short visit could solve all the problems. I would never torture a human without first doing all I could to convince he or she was wrong. Yet were suppose to take the word of the bible which I just explained is full of errors. Give me a break.
Carl, you don’t have to worry one bit for those people you brought to Christ. You certainly don’t have to be sorry because their souls will be saved. And, if you get back to the “straight and narrow”, God will reward you for those souls. It is your soul that you should be concerned about now. The only “fairy-tale” connected with the Bible is that God/Jesus exist to do OUR bidding!! Jesus did say all prayers would be answered. But, He didn’t promise they would all be answered just the way we want or expect. Also, Have we given our entire lives to Him? Do we live for Him every day? Do we show Him we have tremendous faith? Or do we just make our demands because we know He answers prayer. Oh, and isn’t it interesting how many ways people can “interpret” Bible passages to suit their own needs. It sounds like you have lost your faith. You see, you spent all those years trying to understand every little detail and make the pieces fit into a nice big personalized puzzle – and you couldn’t do it. I heard a minister, just tonight, say that “if you think you should be able to understand everything written in the Bible, then YOUR God is much, much smaller than mine!” What about all the Bible scholars over the centuries who thought they could predict Christ’s second coming?? Didn’t happen, did it? Because God said that no man would know the time or place!
Don’t worry about trying to explain what you think are contradictions (other ministers may not think they are). Most people believe that as the Word of God, the Bible does not have mistakes or errors. It is WE who fall short.
As far as what kind of God He is – The entire Bible, especially the New Testament repeatedly tells us that we cannot even imagine God’s love for us. Don’t judge others; don’t judge GOD!!
THE ONE THING THAT TRIPS-UP BELIEVERS AS WELL AS NONBELIEVERS
According to the New Testament (many verses) ALL have sinned – we are all sinners; we always will be and are saved by God’s grace; believers are no better than nonbelievers; we will ALL be judged by God; we are not to judge others; JESUS said the greatest commandment is to believe in the Lord thy God with all thy heart and with all thy soul and with all thy mind. The second is to love thy neighbor as thy self!!
I am not sure what translatioin you used but to respectfully correct you it is LOVE the Lord your God and not believe in the Lord your God even though that is essential its not what the bible says.
Why would you tell such a lie? You were never a Minister. You posted on atheist.com that you just recently purchased an online certificate showing you are an ordained Minister. You also stated that you could have ordered a diploma showing you have a masters degree for a few more bucks but “would never hang something like that on my wall.” You don’t have to be a Christian to be an honest man!! Have you lied your entire life to try to prove you are something you are not?? If you can’t make an HONEST point, you don”t have one.
I have a point for you. Don’t call someone a liar when you do not know what you are talking about. I have never put anything on the internet as you suggested. You are probably a liar and making this up to confuse people and most believers do to make a point. Your mouth is like the bible. If you listen to it long enough you will find it not to be true. Many things are on the internet with the name Carl Weast. I have never done any of the brave things that have my name listed. I don’t appreciate being called a liar from someone like you.
I think God did pay us a visit. When he walked on the Earth as a man, his name was Jesus. At least, that’s what they teach in seminary. Don’t you remember that part Rev. Weast?
The human mind is a powerful thing. If you put your faith in “God,” who is to say that beliveing in him doesn’t cause him to exist. And if you choose to believe in “not God” will that cause him to cease to exist?
The two most extreme religious standpoints are zealots who believe in a god and atheists who believe in no god. In fact, some of the most closed minded zealots of all are the atheists who insist that god cannot exist. How can they be so sure? What if God just wants to sit up there and observe how we deal with life’s problems? I think complaining about them will not impress him very much. Whether God exists or not is really immaterial when considering how you should live your life. The bible is full of all kinds of fanciful stories, but most of all, it tells us how to live a good and happy life. Why can’t we all just do that and stop fighting about who is right and who is wrong?
There have been many “gods” that have walked the earth. Jesus isn’t anything new and certainly not the only.
I have also read and studied the bible extensively and have arrived at the same conclusion. At least you realized and at least you are sorry. I watched my mother die hanging on pathetically to that belief system, wondering what she had done that God wasn’t answering her prayers – for healing, for her family, and so forth. It was so sad. The saddest thing I believe is that all those years are wasted in aligning oneself with a primitive, irrational belief system which makes them crazy because they are always trying to come up with excuses for why God doesn’t answer their prayers!
I’m sorry, but I disagree. I’ve realised that the Bible was not written by God, but by man, and even if there are contradictions, one of the basic things that everyone who wrote books from the Bible agreed on was that man is not perfect.
I’m very sorry about your mother however. But maybe, just maybe, the idea that there was something else waiting for her was a comfort.
There are reasons why God doesn’t answer SOME prayers.
I asked (well more like begged) God to cure my aunt of Cancer.
And then I begged for time to say goodbye.
I got the time to say goodbye.
And maybe I’m crazy, but knowing that there was someone there that cared about what was happening, and wouldn’t laugh at me, that was comforting.
So basically I’d rather die, having lived my life believing in God, to find out he isn’t real, than to have lived my life not believing in God, to find out that he is real.
Coz that would SUCK.
I have to say, I really liked your comments. God is a prayer answering God, and I am sincerely sorry for anyone who says otherwise. He loves us all, and I personally have found a life given to Christ is the best life of all. I pray that all of you who do not know Him in a personal way, will seek Him and allow Him to be everything to you that He is to me. I agree with your comment about it being better to live for Him and find out He isnt real, than to not live for Him and find out He is real. He is real, I know, because He has been my best friend, always there when I have needed Him.
Whether or not you believe, disbelieve, hate, love, whatever, just remember that most religions, such as Christianity inspire people to do good. I admit, my family are very religious and I am not, but it is because of what they believe, and how they raised me, that I am not a complete dick to other people. I would probably have not been able to pity or care for others. If they had no God, or no reason to do good, then they might never have treated me well, and in turn, I might not have been the kind person I am now. Just remember, that not all people must be directly affected by religions to be affected at all.
P.S. I am sorry if my grammer/writing is for shit, but I hope it won’t matter, so long as you get my point. And if there is anything I might have said or done wrong, and you have the insatiable urge to correct me, plz, do it in a kind and constructive manner.
Being raised morally, with moderation, education and discipline did it for you. With out those things I just listed, religion does little…
Your not living God’s Word, Your Skepticial of the Lord and you were a Minister???
God wants to come back, you can trust him.
Todd. Who are you to tell me I can trust him. I was raised a Christian and became a minister and believed for many years. This was not an over night decision. I opened my brain and mind up and will never close it again. I hope you wise up someday and see the light. I’m talking about the real light and not the one closed minded people have. When people pray to their God for something and it happens, they give the credit to God. If it does not happen, they say it was not Gods will. Believe me, God does not work. When we have nice weather we give the credit to God. When we have a storm that kill many children, they never blame God. Do you have a closed mind.
`You are definitely in my prayers. If what you have written is true(and that is questionable), you need everyones prayers. To have spent 40 yrs of your life teaching people something you didnt believe in yourself is awful. I really feel a lot of compassion for you.
I also have the right to question anything you write. I did not say I spent 40 years teaching something I did not believe in. I was once as you are now. I just wised up.
Carl Weast, prayer is not a matter of changing things externally, but one of working miracles in a persons inner-nature. Prayer changes US, and then Christ through us can change things. Christianity isn’t about God answering every one of our commands we pray for, because what we think would be best for us could not be. So if you’re praying for a 200,000 dollar car and don’t get it I wouldn’t shake my fists at God. His will is perfect and he is soveriegn over EVERYTHING. He doesn’t answer all prayers because he’s protecting us, but this does not mean that he doesn’t LISTEN to all prayers. It’s not about believing in him to get all of our hearts desires, because the desires of our heart before Christ are wordly, they spring from jealousy envy and lust. Prayer is to change our desires to everything that will glorify God and to become selfless and love the world like Christ had loved the world. These verses were all taken out of text and are in the Old Testament where there were different laws for Jews. I mean I know those who want to mock Christianity are going to regardless of anything anybody posts, but that irked me about what you said on prayer because it is completely wrong. Christianity is God’s marriage proposal to the soul, and it’s not about crazy religious fanatic traditions or rituals to achieve it. It’s not about good works.
“For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast.” Ephesians 2:8
Faith in Christ is what saves us, by the grace of God. Nothing we can do could ever earn or make us deserve salvation. God sent Jesus Christ his holy son, the only holy man who has walked in flesh on earth, to die on the cross for our sins. His blood washes us and cleanses us. It is NOT by good works or a set of rules. Love for God because he loved me is why I try my very best to live my life according to his word, not because it’s a robotic system of do’s and dont’s. He didn’t mess up when he made us, he has loved us so much that instead of making beings who would worship him always he has given us free will to accept his love or reject him.
“Behold, I stand at the door, and knock: if any man hear my voice, and open the door, I will come in to him, and will eat with him, and he with me.” revelation 3:20
How dare you quote bible to me. I understand the bible front to back. I studied it for many years. I taught what you are talking about. You probable heard it from someone like me. I know many former ministers who have believed for many years and finally saw the light. Don’t attempt to quote the bible to me. I know it so well that I could quote it to you all day. That’s exactly why I bacame an Athiest. Remember one thing. Do the good things the bible teaches and not the vicious parts that tell you that you should harm other people including your own family. Of course we don’t do this, we only obey the parts that we like.
Mr. Weast…
i hate to inform you you are wrong.. the bible is true and im srry you lost your faith in it… but do not destroy or cut down those who are still strong in the faith.. please
Mr. Weast no longer believes falsehood. This is good. I’d be curious to hear what approach he lives by now. Zen works best for me.
zen works best for me when I have solitude, a garden rake, a Chinese gravel garden, and time to pray to God. By keeping God in my thoughts as I gently rake patterns in the gravel (or sand, depending) I can concentrate of what He has to say to me, instead of me trying to say things to Him that aren’t really important.
i agree 100% to wat u said revpepsi | reverend pepsi? lol sorry >.
I’m sorry pastor, but I don’t think you’re telling the truth. Which is not to say I don’t think you’re sincere–you may be sincere. But I think you’re lying. Feel free to tell me if I’m wrong, but here’s my reasoning:
“I don’t bully anyone to believe what I believe” is just something Christians say when they want to sound peaceful toward nonchristians. But when you’re in the “family,” so to speak? It’s a completely different matter. I don’t know if you have children, but I’m the grandson of a pastor, and my father is very religious, so I do know what it’s like to watch a religious person say a peaceful thing such as “I don’t bully…” and then tell his son the next minute, when the son says he believes differently, “As long as you’re in this family, you worship God.”
I also know enough about the church that messages of love and caring and good things are saved for missionary work and outreach, whereas it’s only once you’re actually Christian that you suddenly get told how horrible a sinner you are and how you have to spend your life repenting, and how even your doubts are evidence of your imperfection, and… well, the list goes on.
And meanwhile, this is all made possible because the religion is based on a holy book that says so very many things–moral, immoral, amoral, violent, peaceful, explicit–that one can pick any lesson one wants to convey and just select the appropriate bible verse for that Sunday’s sermon text. Anything that doesn’t fall into the “diplomatic message for outsiders” of peace and love and acceptance, or the “when-we-don’t-have-to-be-diplomatic message for insiders and select outsider groups” of eternal damnation and social condemnation, and just can’t be used for either of these specific tactics, gets ignored or brushed aside lightly. Certainly there will be no sermons on those verses.
Lastly, this one’s not to revpepsi but to the ones here who’ve said, “Read the New Testament,” as if it somehow undoes the damage of the old. Look at your Bible sometime. How many of the pages are New Testament? How long is the Old Testament? Let’s just be clear that when you attempt to disregard the Old Testament, you are already literally disregarding the majority of the Bible.
Where’s Malachi 2:3? you can’t make a list of “funny” bible verses without that
[...] – December 06, 2006 10 strange verses in the Bible I’ve read the entire Old and New Testament of the King James Bible and there are many versesthat were strikingly bizarre at first glance. A second glance only served to make them even more bizarre. In this list of 10 verses that are never preached on, I learned two things: one, different translations of the Bible can differ significantly, and two, I’m not the only one who found some of the verses extremely odd. [...]
Sadly enough, in my Christian days, I *did* hear some of these punishment verses preached on.
Scare the kids!
Many kids (and adults) have had nightmares about hell. Why is god’s “love” so mixed with violence? If we accept his bloody sacrifice, we go to heaven. If reject his “love” we are tormented. Are we REALLY offered a choice in the Bible? “Love me or I’ll torture you!” How could you love ANYONE like that?
No funny list would be complete without Genesis 27:11, “And Jacob said to Rebekah his mother, Behold, Esau my brother is a hairy man, and I am a smooth man.”
Or how about this sage advice, “Men prepare a meal for enjoyment, and wine makes life merry, and (U)money is the answer to everything” (Ecclesiastes 10:19).
Lastly, all good Christians should boldly stand on the promises of God, “They who seek my life will be destroyed; they will go down to the depths of the earth. They will be given over to the sword and become food for jackals” (Psalm 63:9-10).
Good list, though.
Sorry but you have been busted “Dennis”,you completely changed around Psalm 63:9-10…it goes like this – Psalm 63:9-10 -But those who seek my life, to destroy it, Shall go into the lower parts of the earth. They shall fall by the sword; They shall be a portion for jackals.
Soo…..
Revelation 22:18-19 says, “For I testify unto everyone who hears the words of the prophecy of this book, if anyone adds to these things, God will add to him the plagues that are written in this book; And if anyone takes away from the words of this book of this prophecy, God shall take away his part from the Book of Life, and from the holy city, and from the things which are written in this book.”
Zipporah cut off her son’s foreskin with a flint?
Wow! Now We know where Zippo came up with their corporate name?
Definitely, and also what the lid is good for
#7 doesn’t belong on this list – it has been preached tremendously since the 18th century. The story of Onan is the major (and very, very flawed) basis for the widespread Christian stance against masturbation.
i actually had #1 made into a bumper sticker years ago. along with one that said, “Abortions are a gift from science.” i got some funny looks from those. i think i need #3 on a sticker for my new car.
I have a friend who wrote a song about #10, “Go On, You Baldhead”. Catchy tune.
Top Ten Bizare …
…
your translation of Judges 3:21 is Horrible!
a better one (and one that jives with the multiple translations i have here, yay being a religious studies major):
“Ehud reached with his left hand, took the dagger from his right side, and plunged it into Eglon’s belly. 22 Even the handle went in after the blade. Eglon’s fat covered the blade because Ehud didn’t pull the dagger out. The blade stuck out in back. 23 Ehud left the room. (He had closed and locked the doors of the room before he left.) 24 After Ehud went out, Eglon’s advisers came in. They were surprised that the doors were locked. “He must be using the toilet,” they said.”
Not as funny when it’s correct, is it?
Still, loved 99% of them.
[...] This is funny stuff: Top Ten Verses Never Preached on at Church I would submit this as one of the most ridiculous verses in the Bible and quite possibly the worst advice anyone could give anybody: The young men who grew up with him spoke to him, saying, “Thus you shall say to this people who spoke to you, saying, ‘Your father made our yoke heavy, now you make it lighter for us!’ But you shall speak to them, ‘My little finger is thicker than my father’s loins ‘Whereas my father loaded you with a heavy yoke, I will add to your yoke; my father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions!!!!!!!!!!’” muhahahahahahaha — 1 Kings 12:8-11 [...]
I get the feeling that #1 is actually saying woman shouldn’t hit guys in the junk….even to protect her husband.
Anyone else get this?
How can you love 99% of 10 things?
And Kelli, yeah, that’s what I read in it.
you can love 99% of 10 things… but the problem is that correcting the verse made it 9/10, or 90%
2 Kings 18:27
But Rabshakeh said unto them, Hath my master sent me to thy master, and to thee, to speak these words? [hath he] not [sent me] to the men which sit on the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
The same verse appears almost word for word in
Isaiah 36:12
But Rabshakeh said, Hath my master sent me to thy master and to thee to speak these words? [hath he] not [sent me] to the men that sit upon the wall, that they may eat their own dung, and drink their own piss with you?
If anyone knows what the hell this is all about, could you drop a hint or two?
My favorite has always been 1 Timothy 2:15a
“But (women) shall be saved through childbearing.” Now THAT’S the kind of verse you can really start a cult around!
This one is funny too…
“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27
Oh, wait that isn’t funny…10 out of 10 people die…
As a Christian, if I am wrong, then I die and nothing happens…..if atheists are wrong (and they are), then eternity is a long time to be wrong…
“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27
“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27
“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27
“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27
“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27
“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27
“And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment” Hebrews 9:27
Just for the record, there are hundreds of thousands of different religions in the world, and most of them are absolutly convinced that they are right, and everyone else is wrong…so how on earth can you possiblly say with such certainty that atheists are wrong? I love the good Christians- my famaily is full of them! They tell you to be kind to all, then damn you as soon as you mess up. How forgiving!
then they’re not very good christians, I would say!
Just for the record, there are not that many religions in the world. It is true that those who follow a religion are convinced that they are right. Logically all religions could be wrong but since none of them follow the same doctrine, only one of them could be right. Only one has ever claimed to be God, creator of everything! Jesus Christ! Historians agree about the timeline of the life of Jesus, dates, cultures etc. Many writers of the era write about Jesus. The writers of the Gospels gave over their lives to carry on the teachings of Jesus because they beleived He was God. They also happened to be eye witnesses to His death and resurection. Paul was so moved by what he saw that he went from killing Christians to leading the ministry to save the non Jewish people. (Gentiles) The bible is a very well supported historical writing. I would like to challenge anyone and everyone to explore christianity with an open mind.
A great place to start is a couple of books written by Lee Strobel. An atheist who tried to prove Christianity wrong. Try “Case for Christ” and “Case for Creator”. “Case for Christ” is about the historical facts and “Case for Creator” is for the science minded people who want to cling to the silly notions of evolution, big bang , natural selection, and random existence. As for me, I will follow Jesus Christ!
i dont think you have a very advanced grasp on determinism or indeterminism, for that matter, otherwise you would not have grouped random existence with natural selection and evolution. wow… i am in awe of your ignorance. surely someone as well read as you would have a grasp on logic 101. omg
Try reading some of the text that Gary quoted with a well informed,
open mind. As far as logic goes, when I come to the end of my race
here on this earth, I want to be able to leave it with out any question
of what my destination will be. I’ve watched people die who didnt have
the Lord and I’ve watched people die who did know the Lord, and its a
very sad and scary thing to see someone go to meet there maker that
doesnt. You see the really sad thing is, it doesnt really matter what or
if you believe, it doesnt change , that HE IS.
Big Bang, Evolution…Silly notions???? You just lost all credibility to argue based on logic and reason. Is God perfect? If so, why are his creations so f*&#Ked up?
Why turn into your own son just to die for the people you created? If GOD wanted to forgive humans for sin, couldn’t he just have said it? “Hey I forgave you guys”, GOD. BUt this doesn’t sound like the GOD that ordered Moses and the Jews to slaughter thousands of innocent men, women and children in the “promise Land” (They are still fighting). Or the God that tortured JOB just to win a bet with the Devil (pro Gambling reference, by the way). Or the GOD that flooded the earth, destroyed Sodom…Explain the Trinity again….
I believe in smart people. Evolution, science and the Big Bang. These priciples and techniques just so happen to perform miracles today: Space travel, jets, nuclear reactors, Internet, medicine…. How can you say you don’t believe in the fellows that created all that you enjoy and marvel at. In fact the computer and Internet you use to spew your delusional propaganda was invented by the same type of scientist you refuse to believe when it comes to evolution or global warming.
Faith: believing without evidence
In any other situation having faith would make you a dumb ass. Buying a used car, ordering with a credit card over the phone, buying a house, getting advice from a Doctor about a terminal prognosis. Why is it that Religion should be free from the same critical thinking afforded to everything else in one’s life? You won’t get torched or imprisoned for thinking for yourself in America, at least not yet.
PLEASE try it. http://www.richarddawkins.net
Think of all we can accomplish if we just give up the super-natural/supertitions and start thinking for ourselves. I am an Atheist and so are you! You don’t believe in Zues, Posiedon, Santa Claus, RA, or the gods of other religions present. I just go one God further, yours. Your only one God away from freedom. Let go.
There were and have been several misstatements on behalf of both the proponents and opponents regarding religion and atheism.
I first and foremost do not pretend to know all the answers, with that said let me put in my observations for what they are worth.
I traversed the darken, (at the time I believed to be enlightened) halls of atheism all because of a question: “what came first?†During a philosophical debate, we started down the road of what came before this and that, until I came to the question what came before God.
That sent me on five year journey of proving what came first.
Smarter’s Comment “Big Bang, Evolution…Silly notions???? You have lost all credibility to argue based on logic…†It is my friend Smarter that has in my eyes lost credibility for he/she states that another point of view is without basis because it does not rise to the level of Smarter’s flawed logic and reason.
If one is to seriously consider all the possibilities they must examine the logic and reasoning behind their dissenter’s argument and find their purpose for propounding. The fact that anyone would use the discussion of theories such as big bang and evolution as exhaustive rules to determining the creation of God as being (I will use) strayed in thought and action, (instead of explicative) is in itself incomplete.
I would simply ask one of each “Silly notion???â€
1.What came before time zero in the big bang?
1.Time zero leads one to a state of nothingness where matter through decompression becomes nothing. Any entry level biologist, physiologist, or philosopher will state that matter cannot be created nor destroyed, but only changed.
2.Where is the jump from primate to humanoid, much less the trail from amoeba to primate?
In both scenarios one will find themselves perplexed by the answers to life’s questions with yet again another set of questions. Knowledge does not lay here, but we can find an answer aside from mass marked religion that leads back to God.
Aristotle in his writings on Metaphysics book 8 states he theory on the Primum Movens or the “Unmoved Mover†where Aristotle embarks on a philosophical and causal discussion of the linear movement of, really anything and describes the unmoved mover as something that is being perfectly beautiful, indivisible, and contemplating only the perfect contemplation: itself contemplating.
Another point Smarter pontificates is, “Why turn into your own son just to die for the people you created? If GOD wanted to forgive humans for sin, couldn’t he just have said it?†The simplistic answer to this question is Love. Much as a parent loves a child, God loves his child/creation. Several times throughout written history God gave redemption to the chosen people and several times the people took for granted that reconciliation.
The problem lays with man, and not God. Just like a parent I would much rather my child love me out of respect and reverence rather than a forced commitment of love. One only feels the true expression of love when it is given and received freely.
“GOD. BUt this doesn’t sound like the GOD that ordered Moses and the Jews to slaughter thousands of innocent men, women and children in the “promise Land†(They are still fighting). Or the God that tortured JOB just to win a bet with the Devil.†To Smarter and any other disbeliever, I again claim that I do not have all the answers and the fact does exist that from time to time man has “heard†the voice of God telling them to go forth and purge the land of infidels. This I do not negate nor state full acknowledgment of the reasoning, however a partial rationale is provided forthwith. Earlier in the bible God promises Noah that he personally would not completely His creation, and from time to time we find people claiming that God has told them to cleanse this or that population, and those stories have survived through many generations of oral and written tradition.
However, I would challenge you or any other individual to show me in the book of Job where God was induces any of Job’s suffering. Yes God allowed it to happed and more over the point of the story was to show as example the love I spoke of earlier. Job loved God through good times and bad, God did not force Job to love Him and that was the “bet†as Smarter called from Satan to God. The argument was based on whether or not one was truly giving God unconditional love or was that loved based on the conditions by which Job was blessed.
The Trinity as you asked to have it explained is something that is one of the mysteries of God’s nature. To explain in full would take much more time and page space (more like bookspace) than I am sure we are allowed here. In simplistic terms, the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit are all facets of One God. An entity as I say, “If you can fit it in a box, it is not God.†Just as we all are multifaceted, I for example am a Father, Husband, Preacher, Nurse, Friend, Brother, and a Son and have the capability of being several of those things at the same time, it does not change who I am at the core. As simply stated by Popeye “I yam whatsk I yam.†Again, please forgive the simplicity of this response for such a detail and immense subject.
Smarter states “I believe in smart people. Evolution, science and the Big Bang.†and with some of this statement I can concur. I too believe in smart people. I believe that God the creator endowed people with all levels of talents and intellects. I also believe in science, for some of my religious brothers and sister, that may come as bit of a surprise, however, science is in search of Truths and the stands set by such truths. I also believe in One True God, and as a man of science and a man of religion I know as well as believe that Truth cannot contradict truth. So as we progress in our logic, reasoning and scientific methodology, we fill find that science will prove the existence of God. Where I and many of my fellow believers have difficulty in putting faith in people of science has more to do with the incessant evil that lurks in the heart of man. Many of our “Greatest†fellows have developed items that play God, through death or destruction, or are used by others to spread ideologies and theories that are of evil nature.
“to spew your delusional propaganda was invented by the same type of scientist you refuse to believe when it comes to evolution or global warming.†I think that the issue of delusional propaganda is used falsely here, at a minimum with duality.
Although, I do not doubt your belief in “the delusion†of our belief system, I fully understand your position and have come to find that truth as I once sought it was actually one delusion after another. I do however challenge you and any others that were once like me to seek the answers on their own. Do not regurgitate what others have told you and seek truth out, I believe you will find answers that are not so foreign to what I have described here.
I have already shown the flaws in evolution as described by those who are anti-creationist, and global cooling (excuse me global warming [excuse me again global climate change]) is much too easy a subject to debunk, just from the position that in the 70’s we were heading for the next great ice age, and those same scientist are now screaming that we are heading to opposite direction. They have even realized their contradictions and refer to it as climate change. (Guess what the climate has cycles.)
By no means, does debunking “Climate Change†mean we should go out and waste resources, and send additional carbon emissions into the atmosphere, we as Christians should approach the planet with an attitude of stewardship, an attitude that is lacking in some.
Smarter stated, “Faith: believing without evidence In any other situation having faith would make you a dumb ass.†(I figure it is a word in the bible so I shall repeat it here.) Albeit, faith in God is believing without “tangible†evidence, although, I could show you plenty to the contray, but you might just point and say random comsic accidents, I still cannot believe that you would be so indignant to place buying a used car on faith in the same category. It is similar to saying Columbus’ faith in the world being round is and was equal to having faith that the criminal on the other end of the phone asking for your social security and bank account numbers will not deplete your savings account. They are not even close to comparability. In terms of logic it is saying that you can successfully argue the specific to the general, which happens to be a Logic 101 no no.
“Why is it that Religion should be free from the same critical thinking afforded to everything else in one’s life?†Just because you are stuck in the Allegory of Plato’s Cave, does not mean that the world of religion is without reason, or “critical thinking. For some of us that did not come to religion quietly, religion has a great deal with critical thinking. Yes, we do take a lot on faith, we believe and ascribe a lot of miracles to the greatness of God, but some of us came there kicking and screaming through stack upon stack of reading, philosophy, scientology, and even paganism, before arriving to a very well thought critically rational believe in the primary mover of all things visible and invisible.
Christians as you say are not torched or beaten in the US, but there still is much persecution. In a land where, by the smallest margin I have seen, 78% of US citizens claim to be some sort of Christian we are forced to remove bibles from school, prayer from the ballgames, crosses from private property along roadsides. In a country that is to be governed by the principal of majority rules, the majority seems to loose a lot of ground to minority desires.
Well done Bro Buck, I agree with many of statements here and I think you’ve done it without much arrogance. I would however not go so far to explain the reason God sent His son, is because my emotion (fallen emotion) of what I think love is, is why God sent His Son. It was for multiple reasons, showing an example unto us, providing a sacrifice for sin, and yes for love (there is not greater love then this…). I don’t limit God’s ability here, He “could” have done anything, what He did do is explained in the bible.
All in all you cover the basis’ better than I could imagine to. I’m gonna borrow some of your logic statements next time I need them.
“Smarter”, wish you would have used a less ignorant approach as I might have taken what you said differently, maybe considered it in research. Despite you I may actually still do such.
I would have to suggest “Smarter” that you also have faith in such things whether it be Evolution or Big bang or whatever, as they are not provable on their own either (Thus refer to your definition above for how you percieve people with faith). I agree with Bro Buck’s take on the subject of Faith here however anyway.
My two cents
Hey, Gary, keep it honest. Learn a little history, will you! Historians may generally agree on timelines vis-a-vis the life of Jusus but, the Gospel writers WERE NOT witnesses Jesus’s death and resurection. ALL Gospels were written by persons who had never met Jusus and well AFTER Jusus died! Paul admitted he had never met Jesus. That is in the Bible too.
Gospel writers… Paul… Hrmmm… Interesting. Gospel according to Paul… how about John? What about John?
On another note. I laugh at people who toss out philosophies at random that they learned in Philosophy class in the 100 levels (and I laugh at many in all levels) because they always leave out key premises. David Hume is really funny to read. Honestly, most philosophy professors and writers give just enough to try to make you think a certain way. However, the people who ACTUALLY have open minds are able to find the missing information, the missing premises that were not included. Stop tossing out philosophical crap unless you can really argue. Well read people are oftentimes the most stupid ones. Get a mind of your own.
“Only one has ever claimed to be God, creator of everything! Jesus Christ!”
You’re not familiar with any other religions are you? I can think of only one religion where the ‘god’ didn’t claim to be
1) god
2) creator of everything.
Unfortunately, I hear this quite often, along with “Jesus is the only god who died for your sins”, or “Jesus is the only god to return from the dead”, or “Jesus is the only god born of a virgin”. None of those statements are true. I find it strange that the least educated Christians are always the ones with the biggest mouths.
Um, a fairly quick search would reveal that there are currently THOUSANDS of religions being practiced around the world. I’d say that counts as a lot.
Wow your right, that is hillarious… perhaps you could explain how your “merciful” God finds disbelief such a terrible sin. Is thinking about things before you believe them really such a crime in his eyes? When we Atheists are judged is He going to say “How DARE you examine the evidence, How DARE you come to these conclusions, your human fallibility will be punished with an eternity of Hellfire”? Merciful?
Perhaps Atheists are wrong (we’re not), but after a lifetime of advancing human understanding of God’s universe, of the noble quest to reduce human suffering, surely we are to be more blessed than those “I’m a christian because if I wasn’t God would punish me”.
Do yourself a favour, examine the evidence, objectively, as i have, if you still belive then i’m sure God will bless you, if you find that you cannot he’s hardly going to damn you for your mistake (after all he didn’t make you infallible).
If that doesn’t persuade you, what happens if the muslims are right? Surely Allah’ll damn you good.
It was simply an invitation to you to truly investigate the evidence. I have and I beleive!! He (God) also invites you through His word (the Bible) to investigate the evidence and to question what is right or wrong? I will pray for you!
First off, you are not coming across as an Athiest, using phrases such as “When we Atheists are judged” and “understanding of God’s universe” and “I’m sure God will bless you”. An athiest does not believe in the existence of God. You, by your own comments, mark yourself as an agnostic. God gave us all free will, but He wants our love and devotion. He never said life would be perfect.
what if you end up in muslim hell? or in nordic hel or any other sort? what if the the vikings were right and odin is laughing at your folly from valhalla? you have even more a chance of being wrong when you bring up probabilities. HA beware the wrath of the spaghetti monster, he is a vengeful god.
What if your wrong about, Islam, Judism, Hinduism, Buddism, Toaism. Or Norse, Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Celtic, native American, Aztec, Inca, Aboriginal, African, Pacific mythologies. Or even Janism, Zororastranism, Manicheism, Zen Buddism, Sihkism, Rastafaranism, Samaritanism, Shinto, Confucianism, Orphism, Neo- Paganism, Scientology, I could go on.
Won’t you also be wrong for eternity? GET A GRIP OF YOUR SELF
Well lets be honest. We all know whats wrong with Scientology. lol
Landoverbaptist.org has part of #3 on a T-shirt. It looks really good on a tanktop, across the pulchritude of whichever heathen you can find to wear it.
well by not loving 1% of the 10 things. it is all very simple
You might enjoy the album “Wormwood” by The Residents. It’s a collection of songs based on some of the starnger stories in the Bible.
Great list.
“And the LORD sayest to thou, ‘Go Fark Yourself!’”
Curtiscles 12:06
Hmmmmm….
9 from the Old Testament (Law and Prophets).
1 from the New Testament.
Just an observation.
Again the Bible affirms that God has dealt with imperfect people throughout the ages, has used quite strong and vivid language to communicate His point, and has been rather tolerant (this side of the grave anyway) of a whole lot of crap that His chosen people dished out. Or, cut out.
“And God said behold, I have given you every herb bearing seed upon the face of all the Earth. To you it shall be for meat.”
The American Cannabis Society (glibly) quotes this all the time ^_^
Correct! Once again, Proving God is right and Man is wrong!!!!
Read HOW Hemp and Cannabis (2 different plants, btw) were made Illegal-one of the most Racist and Sickening piece of Politics in the USA’s sad History of such.
Anyone Know out there it was DuPont who sponsored the legislation? Hemp had recently been synthesized into Oil, and they were just keeping their Profits Huge. (Historical Fact; check it out)
AND, DuPont was one of the inventors of Napalm! Still think they have YOUR best interests at heart?
Bong Hits 4 Jesus-what a concept! lol
Tim, it seems to me that having faith simply as a backup plan is a bit hypocritcal.
Tim. Seriously, you should probably kill yourself.
Just a suggestion though.
Also, I’m athiest, and I’m not wrong, I’m logical.
Judy: Don’t waste your time trying to change believers. They need this crutch because most of them have nothing else to believe in. I’m an Athiest because I read the bible many times, not because I did not read it. Anyone who takes the bible as written has to be an evil person. Who would love a God that will send you to hell to burn forever for no other reason than not kissing up to him and believing him. Why does he want everyone to worship him? If Jesus died on the cross to forgive our sins then we have nothing to worry about. More evil occured in Godds view “If you believe the bible” and with his blessings than I have ever witnessed on this earth. If the bible was written today, it would not be allowed to go to press. No, I will not worship and love anyone who did the things he did. Believers have a way to explain his deeds but a reasonable person cannot find his reasons when reading the bible. I no longer read fiction. If I was so powerful that I could judge other people, God would be the one going to hell.
Circumcise therefore the foreskin of your heart, and be no more stiffnecked. (Deut 10:19?)
Leviticus 18:22 good news bible
“No man should have sexual realations whith another man. God hates that”
Oh Tim, if only you realized that a life spent believing in fairy tales and ignorance is like an eternity in hell. I imagine if there is a God, when I die I’ll be sent back to Earth, but as a Southern Baptist.
Hehee people still read the bible literally =D
i like the parts where it talks of gods with an ’s’ not just a god hehee
anyways, 2012 is gonna be great. Nothing will happen, the world will not become spiritually awakened =) enjoy exsisting while i enjoy living.
How about the bathroom scripture?
Jeremiah 4:19 KJV
I have a friend who used the the 2 Kings verse in a talk that we did at the youth group we help out at…
Him and I were doing a talk on building community and we used that verse as an entertaining lead into mocking and cutdowns…
It was actually a perfect verse because everyone was trying to figure out where in the heck it came from…
Found it rather entertaining that it made its way onto this list….
Logic is a pretty pink flower, that smells bad.
I cannot logically prove or disprove of the existence of aliens, so how can I believe in your doG? I keep hoping that all the myriad digital cameras and camera-equipped cellphones will yield some inarguable proof, but no. Same with the miracles – no pillars of fire, no parting seas, nothing. Just death.
Hey! that’s me!
d4_t3h_gr8:
It’s amazing how many Bible thumping literalist Christians ignore this text while swilling burgers and steaks.
[...] Here are ten (bizarre/funny) verses from the Bible that have probably never been preached. With good reason. “Then he went up from there to Bethel; and as he was going up the road, some youths came from the city and mocked him, and said to him, “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” So he turned around and looked at them, and pronounced a curse on them in the name of the LORD. And two female bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the youths.” Little harsh, isn’t it? [...]
Truly God is great and the bible is His word.
No wait, not that THAT bible, the new one… oh wait, I mean MOST of the new one… er, well, parts of it anyway….
What I MEANT to say was, that SOME parts of the NEW bible are the word of God and are irrefutable Truth.
That first one was er um, a dry run, er, a transcription error…
The new one really is the word of God, the parts that are batshiat-crazy are in there to um… test out faith! ya that’s it.
well said
Several notes:
#5: I’d translate Zippy’s line as, “You are a bloodthirsty *******!” (She was pissed at him).
#1: It means that a woman should never grab a man’s nuts to gain the upper hand over him; it is a most heinous crime. Even if she’s grabbing one guys balls to save the life of another guy, uh-uh. Donn do it.
Deuteronomy 22:28, 29
“If a man happens to meet a virgin who is not pledged to be married and rapes her and they are discovered, he shall pay the girl’s father fifty shekels of silver. He must marry the girl, for he has violated her. He can never divorce her as long as he lives.”
Wonderful, eh? Rape victims are sentenced to a lifetime of more rape, being sold to their attacker.
surely speaking from a pluralistic relativistic society you are not trying to judge another society’s moral laws of a different time based on your perspectivistic philosophy are you? That would be the height of secular atheistic hypocrisy.
No actually, that’s not what was meant by the passage, although as first clance that seems what’s happening. But really, it goes deeper. And I know after I type this people are going to scoff whether they be athiests or “Christians” but I don’t care; to God, sex IS marriage. This is why “Christians” get all uncomfortable (even though they don’t know why) about sex outside of marriage. That’s why in Jewish law, if a spouse cheated, then divorce was (could be) automatic, no trial no nothing. THIS is why when a man raped a girl he had to go through the fomalities of marriage (e.g. she moves in with him). It is in fact a punishment on him! He has to support her FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE, and there is no way he can get out of it. He has his whole life to pay back for that one act…I think that’s actually a very creative punishment, don’t you? And also, he wouldn’t get away with abusing his “wife.” Plus, she would have to option to divorce him (most people don’t realize that women in ancient Jewish law had as much power in this department as men did).
Ezekiel 4:12-15 (King James Version)
King James Version (KJV)
Public Domain
12And thou shalt eat it as barley cakes, and thou shalt bake it with dung that cometh out of man, in their sight.
13And the LORD said, Even thus shall the children of Israel eat their defiled bread among the Gentiles, whither I will drive them.
14Then said I, Ah Lord GOD! behold, my soul hath not been polluted: for from my youth up even till now have I not eaten of that which dieth of itself, or is torn in pieces; neither came there abominable flesh into my mouth.
15Then he said unto me, Lo, I have given thee cow’s dung for man’s dung, and thou shalt prepare thy bread therewith.
What about John 21:3?
Simon Peter said to them, “I’m going fishing.” They told him, “We are also coming with you.” They immediately went out, and entered into the boat. That night, they caught nothing.
I heard a speaker use that once in his speech. He said something like “I always try to live my life according to the Bible, especially John 21:3″ Went home and looked it up, had a good chuckle.
What a joy it is to be able to see the whole of the Bible and laugh, cry, gasp and enjoy. That is a God worth finding out more about!
I was a bit surprised, but pleased, to see Mark 14:51-52 included in the list.
Scholars have long puzzled over this verse–who is the “young man?” Why did the author include this little tidbit?
It’s pretty much contextless; there doesn’t appear to be any reason in the story to include this. We never hear anything futher about this young man, he plays no other role in the story. And, he is not mentioned in any other gospel’s account of the events of Jesus’s arrest.
This has led some scholars to conclude that the young man is in fact the author of Mark, that the author of Mark is telling his readers that he was there, in the garden with Jesus on the night that Jesus was arrested. This would make Mark’s gospel the only eyewitness account of the events of Jesus’s death, which is pretty interesting if you think about it.
Therefore, I think Mark 14:51-52 is one of the more interesting Bible verses out there, and it might be good for preachers to make a references to it every once and a while, if only to spark some scholarly interest among their congregants.
[...] Also, you will never hear your preist say these verses from the bible….speaking of books, how about a list of incredibly bad book covers? [...]
ased, to see Mark 14:51-52 included in the list.
Scholars have long puzzled over this verse–who is the “young man?” Why did the author include this little tidbit?
It’s pretty much contextless; there doesn’t appear to be any reason in the story to include this. We never hear anything futher about this young man, he plays no other role in the story. And, he is not mentioned in any other gosp
1 Sam 25:22
22So and more also do God unto the enemies of David, if I leave of all that pertain to him by the morning light any that pisseth against the wall.
I take this one to mean a euphemism that is like a saying I heard in the military referring to the male anatomy. In reference to “every swinging d***” referring to the male anatomy.
[...] 10 Verses Never Preached I found this pretty amusing. Can anyone say if these are real? I’m not a Christian, so I don’t know if they are or have the motivation to find out. __________________ [...]
They are real but they are taken out of context, and if you only look at one sentence in any book there is no way you will understand it so why try and do it with the Bible?
that is just what i have been thinking since i started reading on this website. why take a sentence or two out of context and try to figure it out?? i read the bible thru for the first time last year, and found it to be full of wonderful and interesting things. you cant just skip around and pick and choose and expect to understand, it takes time and a sincere heart to let the Lord talk to us thru His word. The word of God is a road map for those of us who believe in Him and believe that there is a better place for us when the time comes for us to say goodbye to this world we live in. That brings me joy and peace knowing i have something better waiting for me.
Ross:
“Truly God is great and the bible is His word.”
Actually, The bible is not his word. Jesus is the Word. See John1:1.
“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God and the Word was God.”
The bible reveals the living Word to us. It is the story of God and his people (and that is all people, not just Israel).
why wouldnt god, in his infinitum wisdom, give us the ability to use logic and thinking, if he demanded blind faith? why would he not make his existence obviously necessary and thus logically consistent? and why is the universe theorhetically able to function without his existence?
the fact is, there is no good reason to suppose the existence of god, it is unneccessary. ockhams razor, people.
and… why is it written about israelites and not humankind at large? why were they the chosen people?
oh yeah, because mediterranean/mideastern tribes often warred and saw their patron gods as warring as well…
Regarding the Mark 14:51-52 verse, this is not the only place that Mark puts in ‘unnecessary’ information. In Mark 4:38, Mark says that Jesus was asleep in the back of the boat, on a pillow. Is the pillow somehow important or is it just to add to the story a little bit of detail?
Um…have you ever been on a fishing vessel of any size? If you’re in weather that looks like it’ll be stormy, it’s purposeful, not for mere leisure boat-jaunting about the Holy Lands. So being asleep and having a pillow isn’t for a mere catnap. The filler isn’t so difficult as all that. Read it like any book – the excitement, drama, details all clarify and speak for the reader’s illumination.
[...] Check out the great list at Church Hopping. [...]
I personally love how the old testement refered to “feet” and “water of the feet” etc to reffer to the Penis & urin, so on.
hence, Ruth lying at the foot of her brother-in-law’s bed, and the next day he marries her….
I always get SUCH a kick out of it when my grandma doesn’t understand just how NAUGHTY the O.T. is.
/ahh, the beauties of Religious Studies major
//and yes, i still think the whole dagger verse is funny, just not AS funny as this verse writer was trying to make it out to be, hance 99%.
When we’re out in public and children are causing inappropriate mayhem while their parents watch and say “kids will be kids, don’t you just love them?” I think of this one:
Ps 137:9
Blessed is he who takes thy little ones and dashes them against a rock.
I’ve been trying to find this verse for ages! Thank you for mentioning it!
i just HAD to look that one up!! (mind you – i’ve been busy looking up alot of the verses mentioned on this site!) but i thought surely there had to be an explaination for dashing children against rocks! It is talking about the destruction of the “daughter of Babylon” – an enemy of the Jews. the verse before it says “blessed is he who repays you for what you have done to us….” in my study notes it states that “war was as cruel then as now; women & children were not spared.” not trying to be argumentative, just thought it was worthy of a note!! even i was shocked!!
The so-called “Holy Book” is supposed to be inspired by God, and all the images and teachings be inspired by God as well. In this perspective, even if it was war time, there will be no justification for such an image: “dashing children against the rocks”. … even if they were the children of the enemies of the whole world and God included. Those children had NOT reached being responsible for any sin or for any deed. And please don’t come back to me with the insanity of the inheritance of sin for many generations..!!!
If God is Love and justice, then more than 99% of all the so-called “Holy Books” all over the world just get refuted and annihilated .
In order to be a decent and good human being, you don’t need to be ruled, inspired or dominated by any book; no matter holy it is claimed to be.
Think… and feel.. and avoid textual blindness…
You wish there’d been no valid reason to destroy ‘the daughters of Babylon’. So do I. But read scripture according to historical account and archeological evidences of the nations discussed, rather than according to an Americanized humanistic world-view that insists nobody could possibly be THAT bad. Discover even in today’s world, and be shocked, at the evil and absence of conscience some nations perform upon their own people’s let alone other nations’ peoples. God states hating the destruction of any of creation, but when the corruption is so absolute, so despicable, so vile, as to potentially self-extinct nation after nation… what would you do? You say ‘in order to be a decent and good human being…’ Unfortunately, some peoples aren’t and never will be interested in one iota of being decent or good to their fellow man. If you doubt that, you’re kidding yourself, and would benefit from a refresher political-science course. Or, just shortcut to wikipedia and start reading world history up through, say, Europe under Kaiser and then Wilhelm II and then the AS before Hitler.
Mark chapter 8
Then He came to Bethsaida; and they brought a blind man to Him, and begged Him to touch him. 23 So He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the town. And when He had spit on his eyes and put His hands on him, He asked him if he saw anything.
24 And he looked up and said, “I see men like trees, walking.”
25 Then He put His hands on his eyes again and made him look up. And he was restored and saw everyone clearly. 26 Then He sent him away to his house, saying, “Neither go into the town, nor tell anyone in the town.”
I also think this is kinda funny, may be construed as Jesus having to redo a miracle of sight. He also tells the guy to stay away from everone and tell nobody. Sort of contradictory to the whole ’spread the word’ thing.
Again, this a Bible verse taken out of context.
elaborate?
The gospel of Mark is a very quick paced book, and although that fact is not overly important here, it is noteworthy because, of all the accounts of the life of Jesus it is most concerned with straightforward accounts with little elaboration.
Immediately preceding this miracle are two events which shape how He heals this blind man, and why He does it in this particular way.
He has just fed the multitudes with a few fish and loaves of bread, twice, and yet his disciples, crossing in the boat with Him, are worried because they have nothing to eat except one loaf of bread. He sighs and asks “Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have eyes but fail to see,…”
So when He performs the miracle He does something unusual by taking the man away from the rest of the crowd, to show his disciples that they can see, but still not understand. Then He truly heals the man so that he can clearly see, which is the nice thing to do, showing that they too will see, just maybe a little slowly.
As far as telling the man not to tell anyone, there are multiple reasons for this.
One is that Jesus was manipulating events to serve the purpose of God. He told almost everyone, including the disciples when they first figured out who He was to tell no one. It was a matter of timing. HE still had work to do.
Second is that whenever Jesus healed someone in public that was usually what He ended up doing from then on out until He left town once word got out. Again, not His only purpose here on Earth.
Thirdly, in one instance, the disobedience of a healed leper was used directly following the obedience of Peter to show that, despite not understanding the purpose of God and despite the good intentions of a person, disobedience to God is a hindrance to His purpose. Peter had been fishing all day and caught nothing. Jesus said to let down the nets one more time. Peter grumbled but said, …”because you say so…” and caught so many fish the net almost broke, while all the healed leper did was praise Jesus publicly when he had been told to keep it down. As a result Jesus had to withdraw from the town to escape the crowds, and eventually move on, slowing down His purpose there.
In this case, taken out of context does not mean just the single story in that particular chapter, but rather the whole ministry of Jesus. This is the reason people who are familiar with the Bible can use particular passages, in general, without the misunderstanding of someone who is unfamiliar. It is also what makes it so despicable and malicious an act for those who do read the Bible with the purposeful intention of using it against Christians, lively debate or honest misunderstanding aside. Not that that is the case here, but I have read some posts here to which that applies.
Gray letters on a black background? It’s illegible!
Digknot:
Anything can be a god—those bible verses refer specifically to the use of material items and/or pleasures to replace God. People use money/things as a god all of the time, and we’re brought up to believe that way..
‘Keeping up with the Joneses’…’Climbing the Corporate Ladder’…’He who dies with the most toys wins’.
That’s all putting material life ahead of the Lord; something He specifically tells us repeatedly not to do.
As to the ‘list of verses not preached’. Many of theses are laws intended to separate the Isrealites (God’s chosen People) from the rest of us. Others are punishments inflicted by the Lord on those who oppose the Israelites.
Ezekiel is an entire book of prophecy, you have to look at things in that light. Your David story–Saul knew David was going to succeed him–was supposed to kill him, and he was trying to kill David first.
Taking the Word out of context is very easy for detractors to do; in fact, it’s your primary means of attempting to subvert the Word. Sorry, it doesn’t work.
The dirt or feces translations for what came out on the end of the dagger is supported by the hebrew version, your version that edits it out is the minority.
POOP indeed was on the blade.
[...] Ten bible verses that rarely get a run on Sunday. Highlight: Then Saul said, “Thus shall you say to David, ‘The king desires no bride-price except a hundred foreskins of the Philistines, that he may be avenged of the king’s enemies.’” Now Saul thought to make David fall by the hand of the Philistines. And when his servants told David these words, it pleased David well to be the king’s son-in-law. Before the time had expired, David arose and went, along with his men, and killed two hundred of the Philistines. And David brought their foreskins, which were given in full number to the king, that he might become the king’s son-in-law. And Saul gave him his daughter Michal for a wife. [...]
Zecheriah 5 v.1 (KJV)
And lo, I looked and I beheld a flying roll
Jer. 5:1-2 refer to Paul Couch’s satellite ministry. a barrel shaped “flying roll” 30 ft long by 15 ft wide. Too bad Paul’s eyes are closed to verses 3 & 4 though.
Max, read the WHOLE PSALM..
That verse refers to those who take the infants of Babylon and dashes them against the rocks. The writing of this Psalm refers to a time when the Israelites were captives of Babylon. Killing the children of your captives
The immediately preceeding verse is:
Psalm 137:8
“O daughter of Babylon, who art to be destroyed; happy shall he be, that rewardeth thee as thou hast served us.”
it makes complete sense now..
What a bit like Palistinian sucide bombers kill Jewish children you mean? And they call this a source of morality. Morons
. . .what are you talking about Dannt? 0_o
This is all good reason to read the Catholic Bible (pre 1960s).
How about;
KJV) 1 Corinthians 14:34 It is a shame for women to speak in the churches.
Or;
KJV) Isaiah 3:12 [As for] my people, children [are] their oppressors, and women rule over them.
Or;
KJV) 1 Timothy 2:12 But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence.
Bears in the Bible=awesome-ness
Judy…
Don’t you think that if you’re going to be an atheist, you should learn to spell it?
Josh, a question…what is the NET version? I was curious where your translation from Ezekiel 23:19 comes from, and it links to the ESV version which is a little different
thanks
He drank of the wine and became drunk and lay uncovered in his tent. 22 And Ham, the father of Canaan, saw the nakedness of his father and told his two brothers outside. 23 Then Shem and Japheth took a garment, laid it on both their shoulders, and walked backward and covered the nakedness of their father. Their faces were turned backward, and they did not see their father’s nakedness. 24 When Noah awoke from his wine and knew what his youngest son had done to him, 25 he said,
“Cursed be Canaan;
a servant of servants shall he be to his brothers.”
it appears noah was an alchy
also the wording of gods covenant with noah suggests to me that god wasnt in fact sorry for killing everyone but rather said he wouldnt do it again cos noah made him a nice barbeque….
Proverbs 25:16
Do you like honey?
Don’t eat too much, or it will make you sick!
what about the verse following it Proverbs 25:17…
“Seldom set foot in your neighbour’s house – too much of you, and he will hate you.”!!!!!
See, after reading some of the lesser known verses of our modern times its isn’t so hard to understand the old phrase “GOD Fearing”.
manimalia,
The NET Bible is a fairly new translation. You can read about it here.
Jeremiah:
I have THREE translations here at work, and that’s just on my PDA.
INCLUDING a copy of the Jewish Publication Societie’s. It ends verse 22 with “and it came out behind.”
I wish it DID talk about the feces, it would be funnier!
I’m sorry, but i’m afraid your hypothosis of poop-inclustion is in the “out’s”.
/just cause i’m religious doesn’t mean i can’t laugh about it!
What about Isaiah 16:11? “Wherefore my bowels shall sound like an harp for Moab, and my inward parts for Kirharesh.” Samuel Taylor Coleridge was discharged from a Methodist weekly after prefacing an article on fasting with that verse…
what about genesis 38? number 7 only includes half the weirdness….
Jesus wept.
Sneppy Pootsen:
all of my translations refer to this as their “heart” sounding, not bowels.
Not doing research and using bad translations as a root cause for your followers would get ME in trouble!
Some Literate Person — I think Judy’s just making sure we know she’s not merely ATHIER, she’s the ATHIEST…
a lot more stuff in the New Testament than they’ve got here — St. Paul was not mealy-mouthed!
Check Philippians 3:8 — or Galatians 5:12
but my favorite OT verse — Haggai 2:17 — “I struck you and all the products of your toil with blight and mildew and hail’; yet you did not return to me” — seems only reasonable!!!
The bible is an enormous amalgamation of content created by a multitude of contributors with widely varying viewpoints, life experiences, and story-telling abilities. It is easy to dissect it, to take out small pieces that don’t make a lot of sense to our modern sensibilities, and use them to denigrate the belief system of millions of people. This is a sad and, for those of us who have faith, meaningless act. Taken in it’s entirety, against a backdrop of millions upon millions of believers over generations, and the bibles true import is impossible to deny. Those who do are either lying to us or to themselves.
Tim says: As a Christian, if I am wrong, then I die and nothing happens…..if atheists are wrong (and they are), then eternity is a long time to be wrong…
Of course my question is — what if the Muslim’s are right? Eternity will be just as long for you! And if Buddhists are right? You lose again. And if Wiccan’s are right? Well you lose again. And if American Indian religions are right? You lose again.
But let us suppose Christianity is right. Which version of Christianity? Some preach I’m going to have a long eternity if I dance. Others if I drink — I lose. Others say I’m damned if I read Harry Potter, or go trick or treating or say “happy holidays” instead of “merry christmas.”
So Tim, how do I win? Which religion do I pick that is guaranteed to be correct? And which sect of that religion is the right one? I don’t want to get this bet wrong.
so you reject God because of the dogma of denominations?
even when they will all agree, with very few exception that there is only one unimpeachable belief, faith in Jesus as the Son of God, and the rest is the personal choice of how you live the life of a follower of Christ after you believe. The dogma is the decoration, it can NEVER be allowed to overcome the importance of the fact that Jesus suffered and died a horrible, painful, and humiliating death, for you (even if you believe that He was merely a mortal person) while people looked on, like the people who post here, and laughed and mocked Him. If you were there, watching, would you be one of them?
i’m old school…..
WWJD?
well, he’d hang with his posse and prostitutes.
NEVER get married.
sponge off of everybody who ever met him.
crack a whip during church services.
go fishing whenever he felt like it.
and we would LOVE him for it.
now….concerning Old Testament stuff:
that’s Jerry Springer material.
hey! it happened!
even back-in-the-day people screwed up,
got mad, and blamed God.
“that’s not fair” is the mantra for 5-year-olds
and for 5000 years.
“The tongue of a woman knows naught but deceit, and her every utterance be as a lie.” 1st Testicles 1:1
Psalm 137: The Songs of Zion
By The Rivers of Babylon, there we sat down, yea, we wept when we remembered Zion…
…(verse 9): Happy shall he be, that taketh and dasheth thy little ones against the stones.
/I bet Boney M didn’t get down to verse 9…
Every single one of these verses is posted out of context. If you would have posted them in context, they would have made alot more sense.
so you think their is a context for dashing small children against rocks? I would love to hear it.
10 bible verses never preached on at church…
The 10 verses are worth a read, but I love the particular comment this link goes to. Ten Verses Never Preached On at Church Hopping……
Re: Tim: Your suggestion would be correct if Christianity were the only religion. Then, obviously, believers would be in the best possible position whether atheists or Christians were right.
However, other religions exist, each of which might also be right, and several of which punish believers in false gods more than they do atheists.
Islam, for example, holds that the only unforgivable sin is elevating a false god to the level of Allah. If Islam turns out to be right, atheists will be punished after death, to be sure, but Christians, having committed the only unforgivable sin, will surely be punished more.
Heysuess Christo! Not everything in the bible makes total sense? The devil you say…
It angers me that all of you take all of these out of context if you wish to gawk and laugh, fine, but you are being stupid and blinding yourselves.
Read it in context and they make sense and are not just gross sentences, and I can see a couple good sermons that could come out of some of those, if you get your mind out of the gutter
@ MrTruddleswick
Wouldn’t you sometimes want to depart from reality when your grand-children and so on down are dying of old age before you die. Noah was still alive after a couple generations of his grandchildren and down a couple had died.
umm… they were operating on a lunar calendar…
12 lunar “years” per solar year. divide those numbers by 12 and they are a bit more reasonable.
But surley he believed they had gone to heaven, why would he need to forget about his grandchildren being in paradise? Or are you saying he had doubts?
Yakko and all your other close minded repliers. The ENTIRE Bible points us to Christ. So when you take one line out of one verse out of a story then you grossly misrepresent the idea being taught. You are all so closed minded to accept that the Bible the is the inspired word of God that arguing this point would be futile.
Christian, should simply definied as believing in Christ. Belive in Christ be saved and go to Heaven. Reject Christ and go to hell. THat’s pretty simple my friends. There’s no wavering there. “christians” who preachs that drinking, dancing or Harry Potter condemn you to hell are also wrong. Things that are wrong and things that cause us to reject Christ and make ourselves God. I.E. if you read and worship Harry Potter and think you don’t need Jesus then you’re going to Hell.
If you realize that Chirst freely by grace gave up his INNOCENT life, died a brutal death, went to hell and defeated sin, death, and the devil and then rose again 3 days later then I’d say you’re going to Heaven.
EMOTION and the current WORLD views have NO place in determining what the Bible says.
Finally, Muslims tell anyone not of Allah to be KILLED by their people. (this is a peaceful religion). Chrisitianity we are taught to love our enemies and tell them the good news of Jesus CHRIST. many of you need to actually step foot in a good Lutheran church and hear the true word of God.
The sermon should proclaim what Christ has done for you. The sermon should not be a life lesson on dating or how to have more money.
Throw away WWJD and remember WHAT HAS JESUS ALREADY DONE FOR YOU!
If anyone can show me any proof of God’s existence, then I may believe. But since that ain’t gonna happen I’ll stick to science. Objective Science is my religion, not science contaminated with religion.
Check out ” Case for Creator ” Lee Strobel
and then, rather than mock the people who believe without whatever version of adequate “proof” you think is necessary, you would mock those who still decide not to believe, and there would be those who did choose that
because, no matter what, you are right, because you are the only one who understands adequate truth and reality
and you understand the universe exhaustively
somehow
oh, wait, I forgot, science gave you all the answers, there are no unknowns there
or mistakes
except Newton’s miscalculations of planetary motion
or Einstein’s refusal to accept quantum physics
or the three reject theories of solar system formation
or, well, basically the re-theorization of almost every branch of science every 50 years or so
beside that track record sits 4000 years of consistent Judeo-Christian thought
What revises scientific thought is it religion or improved science? Look around your home and remove everything that was developed by science if you really believe in its unreliabilty, for a start turn of your computer.
As for the idea that because ideas are old therefore they are right, I mean come on. Slavery was believed to be right in every society for thousands of years, including every christian society, did that make it right. GET A GRIP OF YOUR SELF
As for consistent Juedo- Christian thought, do you still stone adulterers or burn heritics or witches I could go on.
Science Proves bible, and God.
You were born, and have the opportunity to give love and to recieve love. Is there any greater miracle. God gave us the gift of love. Are there any scientific studies on why we love one another, are there drugs you can take to fall in love with somebody? (aside from beer anyway)
Miracle is not another word for magic.
God answers every prayer, sometimes the answer is no.
With love.
Merry Christmas
and Happy Channuka
You already said “it’s not gonna happen” so you already closed you mind and heart off. You are not honest in your search. You simply don’t want it to be so.
I believe in EVERY RELIGION. (insurance policy against mad Gods)
except that all religions, except evidently Scientology, are mutually exclusive at some point
sounds like cyrus…. think it worked for him?
But Tim, which of the 22000 Christian sects do you follow as your backup plan? I hope you picked the right one!
And what if you picked the wrong religion entirely? Remember, each has a holy book saying “We are right!”
Congratulations, you found some pretty interesting things from the Bible. Hope you will read it more often. So how about this verse:
2 Tim. 2:23 – “But foolish questionings and those arising from an untrained mind refuse, knowing that they beget contentions.”
I’ve heard #1, #2, #5, #7, #8, #9, #10, and possibly #6 all in sermons. I’m not as sure about #6, because I’ve seen all of these verses somewhere, even if not in a sermon. My point is simply this: not all Christians are as selective as you imply. There are Christians out there who do take the whole Bible rather than ignoring the weird parts.
have these christians read the whole bible? it is riddled with inconsistencies, as books by multiple authors from multiple time periods are bound to be… so much for divine inspiration, eh?
there is no possible way to believe the whole bible, it is a logical fallacy even within the context of its own mixed up pseudo-logic. unless, of course, you have no problem with believing at least two mutually exclusive concepts to be true at the same time, in which case i would say you are suffering from a sort of doublethink and should probably seek therapy
this post is entirely ridiculous. You have merely rehashed some unintelligent drivel picked up from some other source. It is in no way comparable to the logical consistency of your other posts. It is beneath what I consider your level of intelligence to say such things. I do not even believe that it is possible your own estimation that what you are saying is true, you have taken it for granted that it is so, because it seems that it must be so.
There have been books written by scholars with many letters after their names exposing the inconsistencies of the Bible, and there are just as many written by just as many scholars with just as many letters after their names proving that the inconsistencies are imagined or nonexistant.
In the New Testament alone there are over 20,000 lines of text, of these, any credible scholar, Christian or not, will allow that there are only around forty that are even possibly in dispute over meaning and content.
As one example, in the Dead Sea scrolls, the discovered fragments of text were found to be able to match exactly, word for word in most cases, with the writings previously known, and these were from Old and New Testament, from different regions, and from different time periods.
David,
You lost your credibility…. the Dead Sea scrolls contain none of the New Testament writings!
The DaVinca Code also claims the scrolls contain the NT, but the DC professes to be fiction1
On 2007-08-17 02:36:46 David wrongly said ” As one example, in the Dead Sea scrolls, the discovered fragments of text were found to be able to match exactly, word for word in most cases, with the writings previously known, and these were from Old and New Testament, from different regions, and from different time periods.
furthermore… what about the dead sea scrolls that are not biblical books but the doctrine of the qumran sect stating that they think what’s going on in the temple is heresy? does that help reinforce the “word of god”?
i love all the used car salesmen (christians) on this reply board. They only recognize the “good” of the bible and that’s all they’ve ever been subjected to (or they wouldn’t have bought intot the farce that is chrstianity) it’s no wonder when they are faced with the uncomfortable facts of the bibles shortcomings, contradictions and ugliness of gods character that they freak out.
You are called apologist for a reason. Anytime someone brings up a patently obvious negative aspect from the bible they are the first to say it’s being taken out of context, yet the majority of them want us to believe that the bible is the inerrant word of god. YOU CAN’T HAVE IT BOTH WAYS !
don’t get pissy with us for pointing out the OBVIOUS contradictions not just in the bible but in GODS word from the bible.
you do not know the definition of the word apologist
and I can take words out of context from a physics book
Go on then, but if you do you will burnt as a heritic. HA HA
Psalm 74:22
Rise up, O God, and defend your cause;
remember how fools mock you all day long.
ummm…. i HAVE preached on #10. its brutal, but there’s a helluve a lesson there
hell of an ironic choice of words, no?
Good thing I read this. I was planning on having my testicles crushed, but now I guess I better not.
@se: Case and point? You sure know how to make yourself look bad.
[...] -Wierdest Bible Verses- [...]
Oh this is too good. I hope this continues. Oh and Dwayne: I’d be curious as to what you think of President Bush. Because he’s not about greed, and doesn’t make decisions to help himself and his friends prosper or anything. And he IS religious. Oh and the only reason followers are encouraged to not be materialistic and give to the church, is because the church is greedy and power mongers themselves. Greed is a sin, yeah? They made laws back in the ages to benefits themselves. i.e. why Jewish don’t eat pork. .. Who wrote the Bible? Man. Who made laws? Man.. Dig deeper inside yourself my friend.
To be honest, yet follow an idea I have heard elsewhere; I think the real consideration is not what you believe in , so much as you have something to belive in. Compare Kykes, Xheads & Ragheads. All of them are willing to fight & die for basically the same belief: there is one God who has been represented by multiple personalities. All of them preach the same beliefs & principles (the golden rule, not kill the guy next to you because he does not follow allah. The underlying message that stories like the following show is that you have to believe by personal choice, not because of testimonials from others. Christ wanted other people to make their minds up on their own, not after watching him unblind some dude.
Mark chapter 8
Then He came to Bethsaida; and they brought a blind man to Him, and begged Him to touch him. 23 So He took the blind man by the hand and led him out of the town. And when He had spit on his eyes and put His hands on him, He asked him if he saw anything.
24 And he looked up and said, “I see men like trees, walking.”
25 Then He put His hands on his eyes again and made him look up. And he was restored and saw everyone clearly. 26 Then He sent him away to his house, saying, “Neither go into the town, nor tell anyone in the town.”
I also think this is kinda funny, may be construed as Jesus having to redo a miracle of sight. He also tells the guy to stay away from everone and tell nobody. Sort of contradictory to the whole ’spread the word’ thing.
I got my foreskin caught in my Zipporah by accident once. Ouch!
There is nothing strange about those verses. You will never hear the entire Bible from the pulpit, you got to read it and pray for guidance from the Holy Spirit.
I am a christian, and I love those verses. Again, I love everyone of them. I could list out 5 more you probably never heard of.
The Bible is not sesame street. It’s not designed to please the athiest notion of right and wrong.
The Bible is designed to save your life from Hell and give you a real future.
Of course, if your a athiest or ex-christian, that will make you laugh… but that’s ok.
There are great gems in Proverbs. Read it..
For all the athiests:
God is real. And he’s unbelievable.
http://atheistdelusion.cf.huffingtonpost.com/
hey.. that video was hilarious.. well.. i got a kick out of it anyway.. you make good points
[...] In an additional note you can check out some crazy bible verses here. [...]
May Buster protect and save them all…
Holy. Fark.
I have heard most of these preached on. Weak post.
Yo Gorkul..
Explain to me just where ALL the gas/matter/antimatter,flatulence or liberal gay married couple that created the big bang came from???????????
Or do ya have a big bang theory for where everything came from to create the big bang
Ill keep an open mind but you go ahead and play your “scientists ARE the GODS” game if ya wanna
Explain to me where God came from, if God needs no explanation then neither does the universe. (Wiggle out of that one, oh yeah God exist outside the universe, based on what evidence? Oh yeah, no evidence, not even the bible.)
The truth is that scientists do not know where the “stuff” came from YET. But just because science doesn’t know everthing that does not mean it knows nothing. This is just the usual religious con job of trading on current ignorence to try and prove a point, as if lack of sceintific knowledge proves god. I am reminded of the countless generations who worshiped the sun and the moon, due to ignorance. And even when scientist do discover were the “stuff” comes from, you will argue, ah, but what caused the cause, whilst conveniently failing to apply the causation logic to your imaginary friend, and when you do apply it you will back it up with words like ” but he has always existed” as if statments were somehow the same as evidence based facts.
[...] Link [...]
[...] -Top 10 Verses Never Preached On [...]
Number 10 is a clear indication that for as long as man has been keeping records they have been mocking and making fun of baldness. Will the torture never stop
2 Kings 2:23-24 NKJV
Don’t Dis Elisha
http://www.seanet.com/~billr/xbs/DontdisElisha.htm
[...] A few of the ten verses never preached on Sunday: [...]
@mcp thank you for that! I’m still giggling
It is fascinating to see how far we haven’t come. Religion (which is different from “god”) is simply mental masturbation.
In my opinion, “god” or whatever it is, is horribly insulted by religion. I mean, if this being known as “god” can create the universe and everything in it, don’t you think that it is a bit petty to take one single species on a tiny little out of the way planet and torture us for eternity if we don’t follow the little plan in the book. If I, a mere human, can see it, don’t you think this omnipotent “god” must be more evolved than me? Most Christians wouldn’t even pay to see that story in a movie. They would find it unbelievable!
The whole basis for Christianity is stolen from ancient mythologies and legends. Jesus was not the first to die and come back…and then be called “god.” Study some ancient literature from around the world (especially the middle east). Examine the creation stories of the Babylonians, Christians, Greeks etc. What we call “christianity” is simply a re-telling of the same old story.
not just creation stories…. look at the gilgamesh epic, because noah isn’t the first man to build an ark per the instructions of god. and utnapishtim got a better reward.
Still laughing!
i cant see the stuff im posting…
#8 – If you read the rest of the verses there are blind people, deformed priests, priests missing limbs, etc. God wasnt talking about the physical here. Much of the physical in the Old Testament were symbols for the spiritual. Lets take for an example the limbs. God says we will be priests and royalty in heaven so by priests he is talking about the believers. If you were missing a part of your “body” you cannot enter God’s presence. Body parts missing was a symbol of missing parts/rejecting and only accepting certain parts of the full Gospel. He was saying accept all of my word. Another example is the hunchback who is always facing downwards and looking at the ground. This is a person who can only see is misery and is a pessimist. God says that these kinds of people will not be able to see God’s presence, not because it is a restriction but because of their mind set.
Bible verses never quoted…
A great list of totally weird and very funny verses from the Bible….
Ten verses never preached on at church…
Šeitan
Pirm? viet?:
Deuteronomy 25:11-12
If two men, a man and his countryman, are struggling together, and the wife of one comes near to deliver her husband from the hand of the one who is striking him, and puts out her hand and sei……
I’m curious. WHY is it that when HOLYROLLERS feel that they have something of IMPORT to say, they use all-CAPS to say IT, when TRULY it makes them seem POMPOUS and OBNOXIOUS?
See how annoying that is? I say now unto thee, those who misuse the uppercase letters, or even the capitals of the same, shall be cast for all time among the most revered sisters of the Iron Ruler, who as oncetime teachers of the word and the grammar shall smite thy knuckles for eternity, Amen.
Rev 22:20
He who testifies to these things says, “Yes, I am coming soon.”
Amen. Come, Lord Jesus.
May I offer the Woman in a Basket?
another athiest speaking out of ignorance.. http://www.thewordfortoday.org has every chapter and verse online for free. also here http://www.blueletterbible.org
remember fellow Christians, every atheists name is in the bible, FOOL…
“It is to Professor Wilder-Smith that I owe the scientific falsification of evolutionary theory, which had become the scientific concretion of Hegelian dialectics as the alternative to metaphysics and theology. Wilder-Smith was the first and only person to have the courage to refute evolutionary theory as a whole on a principle level. In the meantime there are a number of renowned critics of single aspects of evolutionary theory. But nobody has dared attack or question evolutionary theory as such outside of the narrow confines of their own specialty. This is because no philosopher or scientist has identified and recognized the diabolic perversion of the substitution of principles: development of the spirit out of nature at the expense of individual particularities—instead of the incarnation of the spirit for the redemption of persons enslaved by sin.”
http://media.trinetcom.com/media/ff4c/wildersmith/OAW0303.mp3
My favorite is Joshua 13:1. It goes like this: Now Joshua was old and stricken in years; and the LORD said unto him, Thou are old and stricken in years, and there remaineth yet very much land to be possessed.
Comment: Did God have to rub it in?
Lit Chick, I am glad you recognized that what your saying is just your opinion.
There is more than enough proof the Jesus Existed, even without the existance of the Bible it would be impossible to prove he didn’t.
It’s a recorded fact that he existed in many jewish, roman and greek texts.
500+ individuals saw him alive after his resurrection.
How can you claim God is wicked, evil an torturous and than claim that he does not exist? Your wrong on both counts, God is Good. God is Love and He exists…
But you are free to carry on in your anger/beleif system.
You might be interested in this: http://www.christian-faith.com/atheism/DoesGodexist.html
[...] View the whole list here. [...]
[...] This site pokes fun at some of the less known bible verses. The verses themselves are kinda funny, but the comments are what really make them great. Mark 14:51-52 [...]
Tim writes: “As a Christian, if I am wrong, then I die and nothing happens…..if atheists are wrong (and they are), then eternity is a long time to be wrong…”
Actually, if you are wrong anything could happen. It might be that only Christians go to hell. It might be that the one true church is the church of “send me fifty bucks.” Hey, why take chances, send me fifty bucks today!
As for #7 – Apparently Onan didn’t ‘come’ into all that God wanted for him…
[...] Ten Verses in the Bible Never Preached on in Church. Quickly BookmarkThese icons link to social bookmarking sites where readers can share and discover new web pages. [...]
http://www.reachouttrust.org/phpBB2/index.php?sid=bbbb9272f18c15f1e2ad1a25ba30d12c
Go to the above link if you want a real laugh. These people are really nuts, what’s more, they think everyone else is mad!!
Religion is poison. people who believe in god are stuck in mid-evolution. They most likely do not even believe the earth is round. The bible is a book of filth written by derranged and perverted jews.
[...] Yesterday I found an interesting site called Church Hopping, what caught my eye was their recent post titled Ten Verses Never Preached On, some were funny see #9 and some could use some explaining from the pulpit if it was preached on and I see the authors point. Overall I think the site serve its purpose by providing interesting topics for Christians and non-Christians to talk about. [...]
Great site and post, I blogged about this today, see http://jesus-istheanswer.org/?p=26
blessings
One of the things I love about my relationship with God is that I can count on Him to be there for me when I need him the most. Of course, my friends are there for me too, but not like God is. He knows everything about me. I know there are no pronounced visual miracles like the ones in the Bible, or atleast none that I have seen, but there are miracles in my life. Although mostly they are subtle, I know that they are the work of God because some things are just too wonderful to have been orchestrated by people here on earth (i say “people here on earth” for lack of better terminology). Anyways, I wanted to make a comment to those of you who see the Bible as a sham or who do not know God. If you ever get a chance to know God, to have a relationship with the person that created you and sacrificed His son so that you could spend eternity with him, your life will change forever. When you’ve experienced the love that He has for you, you will know that miracles do exist.
Mockery: the only disinfectant for xian filth.
Pascal’s Wager: works for any (lying) religion positing Daddy’s Return. (Xianity & Islam, for example)
“Theology is a subject without an object.”
well by not loving 1% of the 10 things. “not kill the guy next to you because he does not follow allah” it is all very simple
Skimming through the responses left here, there are some instances of ignorance in the text.
1) Islam is a peaceful religion. The extreme fundamentalists use the “kill those who are not of Allah” as an excuse to murder. The Allah Islam refers to is the Judeo-Christian God, and the Quran says to respect the teachings of Jesus and those who believe in God. The problem with the struggle between Islam and Judeo-Christianity is that there are too many people on both sides willing to buy into the words in the text as the absolute truth, without seeing the other side, and without learning all the similarities between religions.
2) The Bible is filled with graphic images, which when translated into modern language are still very shocking. Taking these verses and only “writing about part of the story” is still funny, because it shows that there is nothing new under the sun.
3) The Bible is not faxed straight from God. It is also not a dictation or transcript from a conversation. It is interpretation, and translation. There are mistakes.
4) And for all you people trying to “convert” people with your posts, and telling others that they’re wrong, you don’t know the whole truth, and neither does anyone still on this planet. If you’re taking religion without a sense of humor, you the one with a problem.
Amen to that!
remember that there are different types of humor. there is the humor that is meant to be funny (i.e. telling a joke with the hopes that you will get someone to laugh) and the humor that is meant for making something incredible (i.e. mocking something). I do agree that there are things in the bible that were meant to be funny. But what people mean when they say that others are “taking the verses out of context” is that they are mocking the verse for supposedly meaning something other than its intention. Have you ever said something you thought was serious and then had what you said met with laughter? Its a terrible feeling…
I also would urge you to read Matthew 7:1-2
You’re using an outdated and really hard to understand old version… With a newer version, and a little understanding of the cultural norms and practices of the day, you can actually start to understand what you’re ignorantly poking fun of! Wow, what a concept.
[...] Ten Verses Never Preached On at Church Hopping os versos da biblia que nunca serão mencionados numa igreja. (tags: awesome fun history religion interesting) Add to: document.write(“Del.icio.us”) | Digg it | RawSugar | Slashdot | Y! MyWeb [...]
[...] From Church Hopping: And Ehud reached with his left hand, took the sword from his right thigh, and thrust it into his belly. And the hilt also went in after the blade, and the fat closed over the blade, for he did not pull the sword out of his belly; and the dung came out. [...]
“GetanewerVersion” …
Are you saying I just need the next edition of “God’s infallible word”? It’s better once it’s changed?
Wow. Let’s stop beating a dead horse here. Everyone is going to believe what they believe, regardless of the collection of words that are written and posted to this thread.
Stop quoting scripture to me and trying to back it up, I still won’t believe it. It doesn’t matter how strongly you feel about it, and how eloquently you write it, I still don’t believe. Let’s agree to disagree.
I guess we’ll all find out when we die who’s right and who’s wrong.
[...] Ten Verses Never Preached On at Church Hopping os versos da biblia que nunca serão mencionados numa igreja. (tags: awesome fun history religion interesting) [...]
Genisis 6:1-7
6:1 When man began to multiply on the face of the land and daughters were born to them, 2 the sons of God saw that the daughters of man were attractive. And they took as their wives any they chose. 3 Then the Lord said, “My Spirit shall not abide in man forever, for he is flesh: his days shall be 120 years.” 4 The Nephilim were on the earth in those days, and also afterward, when the sons of God came in to the daughters of man and they bore children to them. These were the mighty men who were of old, the men of renown.
5 The Lord saw that the wickedness of man was great in the earth, and that every intention of the thoughts of his heart was only evil continually. 6 And the Lord was sorry that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him to his heart. 7 So the Lord said, “I will blot out man whom I have created from the face of the land, man and animals and creeping things and birds of the heavens, for I am sorry that I have made them.”
Your God is sorry he made us, and shall utterly destroy us.
There’s a loving, forgiving god for ya.
C’mon, join the Dark Side.
http://www.ChurchOfSatan.com
before Christians slaughtered other cultures, those peoples had never heard of Christ, meaning thousands and thousands of people died before they had ever heard of Christ, meaning ‘believing in Christ is your ticket to heaven’ is a nothing but a huge load. Study the history of the religion, read the bible, research the origin of the bible and its myth stories, and you soon realize how much they borrowed from other religions. 2/3rds of the worlds popular aren’t going to burn in hell simply because they don’t believe in Santa Claus. It was a way to control people. If you pray to Odin hard enough and long enough your going to be answered. It’s called brainwashing. Unconditional love is exactly that. Mothers don’t throw their babies into fires because they did something bad and didn’t understand something they apparently ‘can’t understand’.
Theres a reason why God never shows tenderness, humor or love in the bible. Read it yourself. Instead he flies off into rages and slaughters people in the most hideous of ways, instead he is jealous, instead he rarely shows mercy and even allows his own ‘enemy’ to persecute his followers (can’t kill them though, of course). These are character flaws in human beings.
Stop being controlled. Free your mind from religious control!
Acts 17:26-27
From one man he made every nation of men, that they should inhabit the whole earth; and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live. God did this so that men would seek him and perhaps reach out for him and find him, though he is not far from each one of us.
exodus chapter 13 and the lord spake unto mosses saying sanctify unto me ALL the fristborn WHAT SOEVER openeth the womb among the children of israel BOTH of man and of beast IT IS MINE ive never in 35 years heard this preached
[...] Ten Verses Never Preached On at Church Hopping I like #3 the best, lol. [...]
Max, amazingly out of context. But it is a great illustration of why non-contextual biblical interpretation is such the game for people that hate Christians, Christianity or even Judaism (not saying that you do). It is easy to fluster many believers by using verses that literally mean things that are repugnant to them. When many of the verses have a history and culture behind them that modern American’s and many other modern peoples do not understand. Many Orthodox Christian scholars have an excellent grasp of the culture surrounding the NT and have a good grasp of the culture surrounding the OT. This is why interetation means something and why literalism is a dead-end. The culture of the people of the Bible did not express them necessarily in literal terms, and many pieces of knowledge of their life and events in the Bible were not written in the Bible, but handed down through Tradition. Tradition is an extremely important both in storytelling and in Biblical interpretation.
so what your saying is that the bible isn’t the literal word of God but the metaphore of God hes very obscure for a supreme being you would think he would be more concise.
[...] Was the Bible Written by Tarantino? – Yobbo Ten bible verses that rarely get a run on Sunday. … I don’t know about you but I think an able-bodied daughter who is capable of milling wheat, carrying water and doing general hut-work is more valuable than 100 detached foreskins. … [...]
Glad to see all the apologists made it to this page. Not really glad, actually, more like… amused. There’s even a reply stating that evolution has been disproved! Not that anyone had brought up evolution yet, but I guess you have to get at least one jab in before you start turning the other cheek. But since the wacky cultists feel the need to post websites for you to read, I thought I put up a couple, too: http://www.talkorigins.org and http://www.evilbible.com.
As a father of two teenage boys I can sometimes see the reasoning, but really, isn’t this a little harsh?:
Deuteronomy 21: 18-21
King James
“If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them: Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place…And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he shall die: so shalt though put evil among you: and all Israel shall hear and fear.”
At least, all kids going through puberty shall hear and fear!!!
You might, just might, want to consider Whom you are “making fun” of and calling “wierd”. He is not mocked. I have heard these verses preached on. Either some do not attend worship services regularly, do not pay attention when they go or have a “politicaly correct teacher.”
That’s it. I’m putting the kibosh on all this discussion of whether or not I exist. Nitpicking the Bible doesn’t interest me, either. The reviews for the book may vary, but sales are still strong.
Hint: that stuff about crushed testicles is the most technically correct thing in the whole book, so, you know, watch it. The raping a chick and paying to marry her afterwards thing? I don’t know…I hear some people saying women deserve better, but very few of them are my followers. And as for that stuff about dashing babies against the rocks, well, I was in a bad mood that day and the writer must have picked up on my ranting. You’ve got to remember there was no union back then, so some of these fekkakte writers they sent me were just…oy vey, what can I say?
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to go back in time, since obviously no one could have created a being of my infinite power and so the job is left to me.
Love it, love it, love it. I’m a Christian, but I’m not so snowed by Bible-thumpers that everything in the Bible should be taken literally. There are some televangelists (and you know who you are) to whom number 7 should apply. Hippocrites.
Hammer
1-The God of the Bible and Allah are not the same. Oops. I know this b/c Jesus accepts worship as God and Muslims think him to only be a prophet. Both can not be correct in two monotheistic religions.
2-It is illogical, for a Christian, to believe the Bible has errors or mistakes, as written in the original language. Otherwise how, as fallible people, do we know the differences in the “truths and errors”. Or, if there is even 1 error then it is not a book worth having as an authority over you as a Christian.
3-Speaking of context: Matthew 7:1-2 is in the context of the measure of reward in heaven for life on earth to believers (as it seems most consistent with the chapter). So…deeds are rewarded or unrewarded to Christians after eternal destination (i.e. heaven or hell) is decided. It is not saying do not judge ever. Only, when you do, know that there is a recompense whether you are wrong or right. Which leads me to think that there must be a way to know what is rightness or wrongness and be able to “call a spade, a spade”.
The verses mentioned by someone above about women not speaking were in reaction to occasions when women would gossip during services. Sometimes standing up and talking.
I’m a religious studies professor from Washington University, an atheist, and all those entertaining verses can be explained in context and through history.
Muslims do believe that Jesus was a prophet, they probably have it better than the Christians given that Paul, or Saul of Tarsus, came from a land that had their own savior myth where their god died for their souls and that they could be cleansed by his blood, etc.
After the time of Jesus there were a lot of “Christians” who believed that Jesus was just a messenger. Emperor Constantine had a mother who differed with this view, that Jesus was the “Son of God,” despite his sister believing in the prophet theory. There was an entire sect that believed this, although small verse those who believed Jesus was just a man. He called the famous council of all the religions in their land, inviting the “christians” who believed Jesus was God to host the council. Everyone placed their scriptures in a chest, the athanasians (Jesus=God) placed theirs in last. Constantine had everyone pray and worship their gods so that their scripture would be found at the top in the chest in the morning. Many were dubious about the method but dubiousness showed a lack of faith of their gods and was discouraged by many, including Constantine’s guards. When morning came the athanasian scriptures were found on the top of the pile. Constantine declared this proof of the true faith and told everyone attending that they must swear allegiance to Jesus as God or die. Many died, and the purges were taken throughout the entire kingdom, burning most of the writings and scriptures of rival “Christian” movements and other faiths. Thus, Jesus became God. The offspring of those in the church never have done enough self examination to reach any kind of truths. If you don’t question your faith, vigorously, then you are an ignorant member of a cult, whether what you believe turns out to be the truth in the end or not. Your parents cannot be trusted to have found the “truth,” they have done just what you are doing. If you truly believe that your faith is correct, then imagine if you had been born as a Muslim or a Jew you would probably have the same convictions. You would have the same “gut” feeling and “intuitive” reasoning as you have now. The same spiritual fulfillment and uplifting would occur. Every reason that you believe what you do would be replicated in the other religion, you might even find that you have more reasons than you do now. Maybe there’s no funny verses that can be used against you on a random website, context or no… etc.
Bob. You are good.
professor Bob is very intelligent. And professor Bob is very good. He is a good minister for the religion of atheism too. However professor Bob is not quite telling you the whole story of the events that took place at that time. It wasn’t quite so cut and dried quick and easy simple as that. Perhaps professor Bob just ran out of time and space. Too bad, but maybe he treats his students with more respect than us simpletons on an internet post. I sure hope so.
I am a Christian and am trying to understand why so many people seem to be getting so upset. I think the author was trying to be humorous and to get you to open your Bible and actually see if the verses were in there. I for one can’t remember hearing these in sermons, and I do attend regularly. Also, there is repeated talk of errors in the Bible. I would like an example of one so that I can figure out if my translation of God’s inspired word should be traded in for a better one.
Yakko and others: You all have a valid point. What is the correct religion? You see, it is not about “religion”, it is about your personal relationship with your Heavenly Father who created you. You want proof God is real, look around. Logic tells you that this beauty did not happen on it’s own. There is a creator just as a painting has an artist, a building has an architect, our world has a creator. You have a choice believe or do not. But there is only one way to heaven and that is through Jesus Christ, who hated religion himself, but loved us enough to die for us. It seems odd to me that the followers, the men that were the closest to him, all died preaching what He had taught them. Either they were all crazy or they were right. They were there to experience His miracles and His death, but most importantly His resurrection. Anyone can die for what they believe in, but who can live forever because of their belief. Please consider what is being said here. Get past your pride and self substance and listen to that still quiet voice that desires you to love Him as much as He loves you.
Enjoyed the scriptures, will give me some things to study and try to figure what generations later will be reading about us.
plenty of people have died for you WWII ring any bells
Come on. That is the worst arguement you could come up with? Plenty of people have died for their faith, that doesn’t make it any more valid or true. Look at the Heaven’s Gate folks, look at the Branch Davidians, look at the Jonestown colony. What it does show is those early Christians and apostles were convinced they were right, just like all the others who have died for something they beleive in.
you know, it’s not worth getting incensed over the pomposity of such arguments from ignorance. but i do. yako, you just said i don’t understand the world so it’s obvious sky-daddy i read about in a book did it. that’s a poor argument. how ’bout you just stick with “i don’t understand the world” and then maybe read some other books. it’ll give you something to do with all this filler time before you go to the great disneyland in the sky.
Unless the Lord reveals himself to you, then you’ll never know.
Trying to read and understand the Bible without God is impossible. Once you’ve accepted Christ as Savior, the Bible is understood spiritually and not worldly. Why try to run with horses when you are worn keeping with the foot of man? Salvation is a gift, unfortunately, its not for everyone. But it is good, it is really good.
I would definately reconsider the validity of the Bible if it were fairy tale, the fact so many sides of life are shown through stories and descriptions whether literal or figurative provides a profound respect that it does not ignore the truth. There is scripture I used to laugh at when I was a pot-head, saying something the effect, “If anyone should approach this mountain, he must be stoned.” And, I was.
The God of the Bible is an EVIL killer. In addition to drowning entire populations, and torturing and slaughtering hundreds of thousands (because of their nationality, birth, or beliefs), the Bible is FULL of instances where God COMMANDS his followers to kill, torture, kidnap, enslave, rape, and abort others.
Check out Ezekiel 9:6, Isaiah 13:16, Deuteronomy 13:15, Leviticus 20:9, Exodus 31:27, Deuteronomy 21:10-12, Joshua